I am alone and no one loves me. I am being devoured by demons while I cry.

[Crematoryy]

Today was another difficult day of my existence. My relationship ended and I lost the expectation of unity; now I am dedicating myself to taking care of myself, but when I see myself, I feel a deep disgust, a hatred for my appearance, and I am unable to live with it; and then again the expectation of being a more beautiful person and being loved was shattered. I am crying all the time; I can no longer cope with the absence; all that surrounds me is pain and despair, and hopelessness. Every second of existence is a torment unfolding. I no longer want to be in this world; I no longer want to exist in this body; I don't want to acknowledge that I have been abandoned. I need to die; but I need my hatred to prevail even after my end. I'm grinding to the bone inside my mind every day; this is no longer life: it's a curse. My life is a curse. (I'm experiencing depersonalization as I write...)

 

[glass-petal]

sounds truly awful, i'm sorry things are so shit right now. as much as people always tell you that you shouldn't hinge your self worth on a relationship(they are right of course) it's way easier said then done. especially if you've struggled with your self image. we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, to be desired, always comparing ourselves to others while we try and live up to the impossible standards set for us. i hope the pain from all this can begin to fade as time passes, and that you can find some happiness again, or at least some peace.

 

[kunikuzushi]

It's very painful. Loss and the hatred for yourself. I wish you peace.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Was it the one you paid for and broke up with like 10x or another one ?

 

[iwantpeace01]

I feel your pain. Same happened to me.