Venting I am a coward

[Nightwillalwayswin]

I've had SN for a long time. I am desperate to go and yet I'm just too afraid. Scared of this, scared of that, always chickening out. I see goodbye threads on here all the time from people who just get on with it but I am such a coward that I can't. I hate it!

 

[WornOutLife]

No, you're not a coward at all. It's okay to have doubts and be scared. There's no turning back from death, after all.
Those people who successfully ctb, have also doubted but when they felt calmer and decisive, they went for it.
Some of them failed, some of them didn't.

Just relax, wait for the right time, and try to have a good plan.

 

[saltshaker]

It's not a race, you've got a LOT of time to be dead, and it's coming for you even if you never get the courage to do it yourself.

 

[Muirthemne]

I'm in the same boat. I have everything ready. Just too scared to pull the metaphorical trigger.

 

[Antigonish]

Everyone scared to die. So don't feel alone on that one.

It's not a race, you've got a LOT of time to be dead, and it's coming for you even if you never get the courage to do it yourself.

And I agree. When it's your time, it's your time. Whether it's natural or not. If you feel like you're rushing it or if you are scared than. Than you are dying for someone else. Which isn't good unless you are saving lives(plural). Life is hard most of the time. But if you are scared it means you have something you value, enjoy, or love in this life. Try and focus on that

 

[Trisolaris]

It's the hardest decision to make, no wonder you are scared and doubtful.

 

[Bigpink]

Don't be so hard on yourself, this is the most difficult thing a person could do.

 

[whywere]

1st and foremost, you are NOT a coward. I can speak alittle of this becasue I have had 2 attempts and if I would not have found a fantastic pain doctor it would have been the 3th and final time. After I found the fantastic pain doctor, who is still helping me, I thought about it and BANG and DUH!, CTB is NOT something that I could have taken back and rethought about. I am 100% that everyone rows their boat their way, but there should be no peer pressure type of influence or anything period. up to the sole individual. You again are NOT, NOT a coward and I love and care for you as part of my global family here!! Walter

 

[Q-Dust]

When you're truly ready, You'll know and you won't be afraid anymore

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

That does not make you a coward!
I have MORE respect for you, for not forcing something that isn't there, for not forcing something that you are not ready for.

Maybe one day you will be ready to go. Maybe that'll be in weeks, or months, or years, or decades. Or maybe you;ll never be ready.

Don't force it. It's the biggest decision you could ever make. There is no rush, and there is no pressure - reservations are natural.