Hello
I'm sorry everyone but I think I need some mental help.
I'm Ely, 24, non binary, from France. Depressed and suicidal since I'm 13.
I discovered this website, read all about SN and ordered it 3 days ago. I'm very glad to have found you all and the resources available, as I've been suffering and wanting to cbt since 10+ years. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
However, these days, I feel like I can't do it anymore. It's unbearable. It's too hot, I sweat a lot, I have tasks to do everyday that I can't postpone due to living with my parents, and I'm supposed to go to a super cool event I've always wanted to go to this weekend but... I don't have any will or power to go to anymore, and I can't cancel since now my mom and brother are coming too and we already booked everything.
I think that's it. I'm done. I'M DONE. I can't do this anymore. I constantly want to cry because I can't escape right now.
My SN is supposed to arrive next Thursday if nothing goes wrong... As soon as it arrives, I'll test it with my blood and book an hotel to ctb in.
I don't know how to wait another week. I don't want to. I can't get why everybody wants me to live, why everybody who loves me wants me to suffer, why society refuses to offer us a peaceful death, even if we've got valid reasons and have wanted to do it for years.
A week and hopefully everything will be over.
Please tell me how to survive until then. Please. I can't stand life anymore. I can't.
I'm sorry everyone but I think I need some mental help.
I'm Ely, 24, non binary, from France. Depressed and suicidal since I'm 13.
I discovered this website, read all about SN and ordered it 3 days ago. I'm very glad to have found you all and the resources available, as I've been suffering and wanting to cbt since 10+ years. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
However, these days, I feel like I can't do it anymore. It's unbearable. It's too hot, I sweat a lot, I have tasks to do everyday that I can't postpone due to living with my parents, and I'm supposed to go to a super cool event I've always wanted to go to this weekend but... I don't have any will or power to go to anymore, and I can't cancel since now my mom and brother are coming too and we already booked everything.
I think that's it. I'm done. I'M DONE. I can't do this anymore. I constantly want to cry because I can't escape right now.
My SN is supposed to arrive next Thursday if nothing goes wrong... As soon as it arrives, I'll test it with my blood and book an hotel to ctb in.
I don't know how to wait another week. I don't want to. I can't get why everybody wants me to live, why everybody who loves me wants me to suffer, why society refuses to offer us a peaceful death, even if we've got valid reasons and have wanted to do it for years.
A week and hopefully everything will be over.
Please tell me how to survive until then. Please. I can't stand life anymore. I can't.
