Venting how to stop myself from an impulsive attempt

[illbeinthegarage]

im going away on somewhat of a holiday soon with some family. how do i get through this trip without impulsively ending my life. the opportunities once i get there to ctb will be endless. a few weeks surrounded by constant reminders of how easy i could end it here. it would be a beautiful place to go and a place i actually considered once to become my final resting place. the thing is, i want to ctb knowing everything is planned and will go smoothly and have my notes prepared. i dont want to go impulsively and leave the people i love with absolutely no explanation or way to find comfort (if they were actually bothered). ive been thinking more seriously recently about how i plan to go. i thought maybe saving up to take a one way trip to somewhere beautiful and end my life there. ive been thinking more in depth about my methods available to me for when i do start making plans. im just rambling now but the point i was trying to make is how do i stop my doing something stupid and impulsive while i am surrounded by things that will trigger my thoughts to do so.
if egg or loser see this you have no responsibility to read nor reply

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It's hard. I was thinking about stabbing myself a whole bunch of times yesterday because I was stressed. Generally having other people around makes me waaaay less likely to try anything impulsive, so I'd recommend talking to people where possible to keep yourself a little more grounded.

 

[faust]

If there's such an opportunity, you can hang out as much as you can and talk to a lot of random people. There are people who like talking much, especially if you are from another region or country and you will spot them everywhere. Both of you understand that you see them and they see you probably the last time so they will be open to you and will feel free to share their life stories, hobbies, etc. This will interrupt the chain of your suicidal thoughts because your mind will be busy during conversation.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Repressing something can sometimes make it bigger than it is. If it gets let out to play for awhile when it's safe, under controlled circumstances, then it won't need to take control at an inopportune time.

I'd consider having everything done such as emails for sending delayed, etc. Then when the impulse comes up, you can decide if it's the best choice at that time. Maybe just knowing that you can if you want to will be enough to overcome the urge and help you stick to your already established needs and goals. If you don't overcome, you can relax knowing that you were prepared and have little regret in comparison to heavy regret. It will help you to die in peace.

If the impulse comes up and you're not prepared, will you be tempted to be destructive or nihilistic and just say fuck it, let it all burn, and attempt? If yes, that's why I say to let it out to play under controlled circumstances.