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Please don't do that to your parents. If they love you, they're not bad parents. They don't deserve that. It will be a slow and painful process,it's really cruel.
I know i have no place to speak - I just discovered a whole branch of my family tree I didn't know. maybe enough time has passed that your siblings might be able to break free of your parent's conditioning and be willing to start a relationship, if that's what you want.
You can't, they will never allow you to do something like that. It is up to you, your life is in your hands.
Do they have total knowledge of how you feel and where those feelings come from? I mean, uncomfortable as fuck I know, but if suicide looks like the option for you already and it looks like you care about how they feel so I'd say try to run through every option with them with honesty. I mean, you can always ctb later why not try all the shit you can think of. I just feel like the "lying " method will leave you disatisfied even if it seems " easier"
Why do you wanna kill yourself still hasn't your family accepted your atheism already?!
No, I don't like to be vulnerable with them each time I get suicidal. They'll likely say it's the fact that I am not religious that's making me feel this way and I'm so tired of hearing this. It's so ignorant.
No it's just that I'm lonely, there is no one, no help, no qualified psychologists in my area, no proper treatment for my adhd, how draining university is, and how I'm failing all my classes. this whole life is not for me tbh.
ive begged my brother and mother before to just let me go. To let me commit suicide and for them to realize how that decision will free me and grant me so much inner peace.
I actually think you should keep trying to make life better because of your age, but you're still not understanding my question. What do you meant exactly by "let" you?
Give me permission. Say they understand why I would choose something like this and accept that this is my fate.
This conversation is going around in circles. Why do you need their permission to do anything?
You feel like the conversation is going in circles, don't engage, it's easy.
to be fair you have told them many times, its not going to be a surprise anymore. If they choose to be ignorant of it then its kind of on them. They cant blame you for making it a surprise anymore cuz u have done ur part
Exactly this.
They will never give you permission and you do not need it. They will be traumatized either way, but they won't be surprised. It will change their lives forever either way.
I think you're right. Maybe wanting my loved ones to give me permission to die is my way of avoiding the fact that I am not ready for some reason. Even though I have been feeling this way for many miserable years. Idk why I keep procrastinating my death, I can't stop thinking about the aftermath, finding a painless method, and making my death as easy as it can be for others.
My condolences I'm really sorry that you live in tiaret but yeah every compatriot who ever felt stuck has said those exact same words
Yeah I guess if you're coming from a religious family they will give you that as the whole answer for how your life is worth sticking with even if it doesn't work for you, though it doesn't seem like it's in bad faith from what you've said so at least it seems like caring. And for the being lonely here there's a lot of people willing to hear you vent and stuff so maybe that helps you a bit, though maybe try to follow specific interests you have in person so you maybe meet real people that like what you like. The mental health resources part can be tough, but in here there's quite a bit I think and of course try to use all that may be available around you ( in my case I have access to some psychologists with my insurance and there's also college counselling that I have access to though I know that may be out of reach depending on the place). And of course the classes part it's gonna be shitty to perform at if you can't find any joy in life, don't drive yourself crazier focusing on that over finding how to make your existence at least sorta enjoyable at times. And try to give you some grace of course, life's tough as shit most times
