How did you know you were close?

[Close_to_freedom]

I finally internalized the fact that nothing matters. All my striving and stress to improve has been for nothing. I recognize that other people have better lives but for once I don't feel envy. I don't even care. It's very peaceful. When I eventually jump off my bridge, I want to be calm and firm with my decision like Gene Sprague (man in black who jumps at the end of The Bridge).

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

I started feeling somewhat "robotic" like reality wasn't real... then I sat there drinking my ass off until I felt this calming sensation of myself sitting in the "eye of the storm", nothing mattered there and I was about to end it all, then my ex came by for her little bits of shit and I kinda snapped out of it. Almost like a trance.