hospital was probing if i read about suicide online

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

so i was hospitalized on sunday night u guys might have seen my post

the hospital was probing about WHY and where i read about the critical point on my neck

i only told them i strangled myself out of self harm, hence the multiple attempts and the ones where i just lied in bed and kept pulling on the belt. i was like i knew i wasnt gonna die. which is true.

what i wasnt honest about, is that i was testing. i wanted to figure out which spot would make me faint so i could hang myself properly.

i feel like if i was honest, and told them i read about it online, they wouldve locked me up for a long long time. i hated the fucking ER

 

[Fadenself00_]

The whole system is whack how it currently is.. Like obviously you will lie/not tell the entire truth if you're at risk of involuntary hospitalization.. It's extremely inhumane how the system treats us..
They are worse than talking to police

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

The whole system is whack how it currently is.. Like obviously you will lie/not tell the entire truth if you're at risk of involuntary hospitalization.. It's extremely inhumane how the system treats us..
They are worse than talking to police

it was so so so bad.

i went on my own. voluntarily. seeking help. and they treated me like a criminal. after my first point of contact/triage nurse, she told me "if you try to leave, we will call police on you and find you"

like damn, i just came here on my own, and you tell me that??? thanks lady

then they took me to a room in the ER. uncomfy bed. i stayed there just sitting for an hour, before a nurse came and saw me and talked to me. then i talked to the doctor. then they came and served me with a form giving them the right to lock me up and giving me clothes to wear. i couldnt even keep my phone.
i couldnt close the door. the bed was mad uncomfy. police were there multiple times at night. so many fights. i was so stressed out it lowkey made me feel worse. when i tried to block out the light and sound with the blanket, they came running and removed it.

of course i will lie to get out.

 

[Dejected 55]

Yeah, the system sucks... and multiple times when I was in hospital the group therapy sessions would start with the therapist saying how she wanted to call in sick to work or how she couldn't wait to stop working there and do something else. Then a lot of the nurses would complain too... just like any other random job... so, don't get twisted and think people care even if it is theoretically their job to care.

 

[peacebenow]

I did not know you were there. i missed the post. I'm so sorry experienced.

 

[Matchaaa]

I'm sorry you had to go through that.
If people who seek help are met with punitive treatment, then the system has already failed.

I've seen many people hide their true feelings just to avoid being forcibly admitted. If that's happening, then what was this system supposed to achieve in the first place? It seems to have lost sight of its purpose— a safe and comfortable environment for healing.

 

[thunder_rayne]

I think a lot of people want to truly get better and seek help. The problem we quickly learn is being honest is not actually in your favor. You will learn there are repercussions to the "inappropriate" things you say. I dislike like the word inappropriate because I feel one has the right to say how they honestly feel because you want to get better. One bad experience to us then jeapodizes how we view the mental health community.

I had a friend once hospitalized for a failed suicide attempt. She cried daily and told them she just wanted to die. She quickly realized the only way out that place was to lie so she could go home, but it worked. I'm sure her medical team would believe they did an awesome job in treating her...

I'm sorry that happened to you
I know how frustrating it is to want to get help and these are your new circumstances. I would suggest see a therapist but be mindful of any self-harm comments because they can easily lead you back to places like that.
Best wishes.

 

[Dejected 55]

The several times I've been in the mental hospital here in the US, I told them every day I was depressed and wanted to die. I told them I couldn't kill myself in the hospital but when they release me I would go back to looking for another way. They discharged me each time with that knowledge. I wasn't the only one.

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

The several times I've been in the mental hospital here in the US, I told them every day I was depressed and wanted to die. I told them I couldn't kill myself in the hospital but when they release me I would go back to looking for another way. They discharged me each time with that knowledge. I wasn't the only one.

thats awful wtf. how have you been feeling lately? have you been to the same hospital only?

 

[Dejected 55]

thats awful wtf. how have you been feeling lately? have you been to the same hospital only?

I don't know if there are other hospitals in the area with mental facilities, so I've only been to the one place each time. I'm pretty much always miserable. The degree of misery varies from day to day... but it's always there.

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

I don't know if there are other hospitals in the area with mental facilities, so I've only been to the one place each time. I'm pretty much always miserable. The degree of misery varies from day to day... but it's always there.

i just read your post from friday. man you've been through so much. i wish i could give you a hug. i hate this shithole world for failing so many people. has anyone reached out with employment/welfare services?

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה, blaming this fake-ass Internet so the only choice is pleasuring and/or profiting them.

 

[Dejected 55]

i just read your post from friday. man you've been through so much. i wish i could give you a hug. i hate this shithole world for failing so many people. has anyone reached out with employment/welfare services?

Not really. I did find some help to pay a couple of utilities... but the hospital kind of just unceremonious dumped me and implied not to let the door hit me in the ass. They don't owe me anything, but they didn't have to gaslight me.

I honestly haven't been looking for work. I didn't think I'd still be here. I was trying to die, hoping to die... I wasn't supposed to still be here at this point. I don't want to be around people in a job even if it pays the bills and then I have to have it rubbed in my face how alone I am in the world as I see other people daily celebrating their connections. I can't deal with that anymore.

 

[RadiantNumber]

Few words for them if they are reading this
Fuck you
You have no rights to decide for someone about their life

 

[babyneo1]

Have been hospitalized as well when I was honest with my feelings for almost 4 weeks