Have you known someone close who died by suicide?

[blueskies]

I lost someone very close to me by suicide recently, I've never felt a mixture of sadness, confusion and hopelessness quite like it. I've juggled with my mental health since my early teens, with suicidal ideations coming and going and was doing okay up until my recent loss which has knocked me for six :/ The strange thing is, I've feel the pain of losing someone in this way so know the agony I would potentially put my loved ones through, but I can't help thinking about my own death regardless. I know all my own pain and sadness and worry will end, but it feels I'd only be passing that on to those who love me and need me, and that makes me feel terrible.
Can anyone relate?
ps I'm sorry we're all finding ourselves on this platform

 

[Huntfish34]

I can certainly relate and I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I wasn't really close ,. But know someone that died by suicide a few years ago and Damnt... It hurts so bad words can't even describe how it feels.

Agreed,. It's made me feel like total Shit knowing that I would put others in the same situation when/if I do it. Makes me really wonder and think if it's Worth it.. I'm just torn,. sooo Fckn lost in this thing we call Life. Remember that you are not alone,. I wish you the best.

Thoughts and prayers always, Take care if possible.

 

[Rational man]

My grandpa gassed himself, my dad attempted it and i know of about 8 people who did ctb over time. . I understand why.

 

[Ligottian]

My maternal grandmother made a half-hearted (?) attempt about 15 years before I was born by drinking iodine. My maternal grandfather, a severe depressive, is said to have told my grandmother when I was a very young child he was going to stick his finger in an electric socket, but never did. My mother once ran from the dinner table saying she was going to shoot herself. But, again, no attempt. I have at least three more distant kin that I never knew who completed it.

As you might guess, mental illness runs in my family.

 

[Lost Magic]

Grandmother and mother both attempted a few times. A friend took an overdose and died from taking lots of pills some years ago. To be honest, he had severe schizophrenia and major family and relationship issues. It was probably a blessing that he did go when he did.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

My brother. He shot himself in the head.