Have you ever talked to your parents about CTB?

[supermario]

If so, what was their response? I broke down earlier today with my mom, and that I will try my best to get better. But everyone has their limits, and I'm getting very close to mine I told her. I think she finally accepted the possibility that I might ctb and understand based on her observation of how much pain I am in. To be honest it was a big relief.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

Yes I have. My Dad didn't say much about it other than "that's really horrible".
My Mum still reckons I can recover, despite the reasons being health-related and not resolving after years of treatment.
I guess she can't afford to believe that I'll die from this. A parent never wants to lose their child. And my Mum put her heart and soul into raising my brother and I as a solo parent with health problems.

 

[supermario]

Yes I have. My Dad didn't say much about it other than "that's really horrible".
My Mum still reckons I can recover, despite the reasons being health-related and not resolving after years of treatment.
I guess she can't afford to believe that I'll die from this. A parent never wants to lose their child.

Do you find relief after revealing this to them? For me, at least I know it would lessen the shock - and possibly anguish on my mom's part - if I do decide to ctb.

 

[ClownMe]

My mum said that she doesn't care and that I should just kill myself already and my dad isn't around.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

My mum said that she doesn't care and that I should just kill myself already and my dad isn't around.

She must have some pretty bad mental health issues herself. I wouldn't take what she said to heart if you can avoid it, nobody with a sound opinion would ever say that.
Is your Dad dead?
Why do you want to die? I can't help but wonder whether some of the things she may have said to you over the years may have contributed...

 

[supermario]

My mum said that she doesn't care and that I should just kill myself already and my dad isn't around.

OMG that is absolutely TERRIBLE. Some people really do not deserve to be parents.

 

[ClownMe]

She must have some pretty bad mental health issues herself. I wouldn't take what she said to heart if you can avoid it, nobody with a sound opinion would ever say that.
Is your Dad dead?
Why do you want to die?

She's just a narcassist who thinks the World revolves around her, but yeah, she probably does have some serious mental issues.

Dad is alive and well, he just never messages me.

There's several reasons why I want to die but the main ones are that I consider life to be pointless and painful and that nothing in this World interests me.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, there would be no point in doing this. They would not accept and understand my decision, they would selfishly expect me to suffer for decades. I am the type of person who prefers to keep things to myself anyway, I think oversharing can do no good. I will make sure they never find out, it is my life, my decision and it is nothing to do with anyone else.

 

[stellabelle]

If so, what was their response? I broke down earlier today with my mom, and that I will try my best to get better. But everyone has their limits, and I'm getting very close to mine I told her. I think she finally accepted the possibility that I might ctb and understand based on her observation of how much pain I am in. To be honest it was a big relief.

Yes.
Truthfully speaking my mother was my reason for wanting to commit suicide, along with the other relatives that were absolutely terrible.

I have a "family" that couldn't care less.

Again, I will point at my assaults and assailants, the system that destroys a person internally and externally and "allows" these "people" to walk "free" each day.

But I will tell you I have a BIGGER family that does "care." That includes the community extended helping hands and hugs from those who understand the pain and struggle of being "invisible." Or unheard, taken for granted, exploited, and pushed down a "rabbit hole."

 

[Maaizr]

nope, never will - they don't understand, can't understand, will never understand and quite frankly aren't even equipped to deal with the topic of ctb and depression (my mum maybe, my dad fuuuuck no i dont think so) sucks for me, sucks for them - idk about my siblings, im gonna miss my little brother tho he just won't understand why and that one hurts specifically somedays

 

[Scribble Fan]

I have and... I just don't think they take me seriously. I don't know why. Maybe it's after all my failed attempts it looks like I'm just seeking attention. Damn, if only I had access to SN.

 

[Tsunami_Warning]

Just got done talking to my mom about CTBing soon.

I don't think she'll ever understand, but she's accepting enough and the cops haven't shown up at my door yet, so that's a positive.

 

[Squalo]

no never, no one knows I want to leave this world and no one must suspect anything when my bus arrives.

 

[rozzy]

Parents nope. My kid brother reacted irrationally... as far as I could tell, just shrugged and mumbled some vehemence. Topic hasn't come up again cause we live apart.

 

[erdbeeren]

If so, what was their response?

They forced me to stay at a horrible psych hospital against my will for nearly 10 days. Fuck the system.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

20 years ago, she called me crazy.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

Yes.
Truthfully speaking my mother was my reason for wanting to commit suicide, along with the other relatives that were absolutely terrible.

I have a "family" that couldn't care less.

Again, I will point at my assaults and assailants, the system that destroys a person internally and externally and "allows" these "people" to walk "free" each day.

But I will tell you I have a BIGGER family that does "care." That includes the community extended helping hands and hugs from those who understand the pain and struggle of being "invisible." Or unheard, taken for granted, exploited, and pushed down a "rabbit hole."

You speak of "assaults" and "assailants"; what happened?
I was assaulted at 15 and had my patella dislocated (a blindside kick for no reason other than that they thought it would be funny).

 

[Beeper]

I have been very open regarding my current state of mind.

The manic and depressive episodes (Bipolar Disorder) have been significant and well-known amongst the family. They know I have been struggling.

None of them like to hear me talking about suicide, but I have told them that I think about it quite often.

I know they would be devastated if I CTB, but at least they are aware of the possibility.

I am fortunate that they are supportive of my recovery.

 

[SadVegan]

My family is well aware of it. They have accepted the idea and I'm content with it, its so sad for me when someone commits cbt and doesn't inform or give any hint about what they are going through, i know there are circumstances where you cant tho. But back to your question, the first time i commented on the topic they weren't surprise at all, ive been suicidal since i was in highschool and when i finally came to the conclusion that life doesnt worth living. I drove up to my sister and opened up about how i was feeling recently, she was sad but rapidly embraced the idea. She told me sth like we cant force anyone to live a life they didnt choose to have, she would definitely would be sad if im gone, but the decision its up to my. My mother was way more difficult to convince, she's the type of person that likes to quote nonsensical thrashy posts of Facebook, like youll get by, such is life, everything is going to play on your favor one day it never does. As time went by she became more and more open-minded about the fact that i will kill mysef, i explained to her the joy that would be for me when im finally finishing me off. That i just afraid to suffer more, that im afraid of losing them as they are my only family (mother and sis). She understood and wished me the best luck and told me. I will miss you until the day i draw my last breath, but at least when i get a call telling me that you're gone I'll know that your yearning wish has come true and that was your willingness.

 

[ghost_]

I have. My dad does not acknowledge it. he pretends I never said anything. My mom told me I was being dramatic and it's just a part of growing up. they've made passing comments that leads me to believe they think it is very selfish to ctb. when I say anything about ctb now my mom looks at me and says "do not joke about this, do you want to make me cry?" but I am never joking. I wish they would at least make an effort to understand. My mom wants me off my medication ( which I only got cause I opened up to a high school teacher and the school called my parents and they seemed to realize how serious I was and immediately booked an appointment ) but honestly I think if it wasn't for my doctor and these meds I would have done it a while ago.

 

[Soapie]

i think if my mom knew how i felt shed go crazy. i don't wanna be around to see the aftermath of what shes helpde create if that makes sense

 

[stellabelle]

You speak of "assaults" and "assailants"; what happened?
I was assaulted at 15 and had my patella dislocated (a blindside kick for no reason other than that they thought it would be funny).

Multiple physical assaults, sexual assaults, rape, human trafficking, poisoning, burglary, robbery, grand theft auto, you name it.

 

[rozzy]

But do you really "recover"? Bipolar is an endless cycle, isn't it?

I have been very open regarding my current state of mind.

The manic and depressive episodes (Bipolar Disorder) have been significant and well-known amongst the family. They know I have been struggling.

None of them like to hear me talking about suicide, but I have told them that I think about it quite often.

I know they would be devastated if I CTB, but at least they are aware of the possibility.

I am fortunate that they are supportive of my recovery.

 

[stellabelle]

But do you really "recover"? Bipolar is an endless cycle, isn't it?

Bipolar to whom?

Are there reasons to be in a "depressive low"?
A reasonable person would feel "low?"

And for the more functional times. Do people get tired of being called "perfect"?
Or attempting to achieve "perfection" which is unattainable?

Could it be low self esteem and "put downs"?

Is it a "conscious decision"?

Are you being "ignored" or "spoken about" instead of spoken to?

Is it an oppressive "game" or is it the truth?

 

[Tsunami_Warning]

In retrospect, since I called my family people have been bugging me all monrning now while I wait for the 24 hour fast to be done for the SN.

I guess that's fair. I have to try to give them a chance to present some new evidence that could convince me to survive, but it's not coming.

The Uni, the local Police Dept. have bothered me but at least they are smart enough to not send a squad car so I can commit suicide-by-officer.

 

[layne2001]

Not exactly but Ive spoken with my actions. A self harmer since I was like 12 or 11, clearly depressed my whole life, sort of attempted at 16 with random pills, my mom didnt tell anyone of the family neither did I. I think my siblings are waiting for me to do it cause its really obvious the state I'm in

 

[MeltedJello]

Told my mom at 18 that I wanted to die. She then forced me to go the hospital with her & my dad, but we ended up going home since the wait took forever. I just wished they could understand, and accept that suicide is something I've decided on. I'm tired of living this pointless life. I've been pretending to be okay in front of them for a long time now. I'm just waiting for the time that I'll be home alone for a few hours, in order to ctb.

 

[Beeper]

But do you really "recover"? Bipolar is an endless cycle, isn't it?

You make a good point.

Is it really recovery, or just a temporary remission of symptoms?

From my experience it has been a temporary recovery. Enough time to get my life back together. But things always seem to fall apart again later on.

Maybe it's me, a lax support network, or insufficient medications.

I always seem to think this time will be different. I'll do a better job of managing my health. I'll try and minimize the stress.

 

[nameeater]

i've been hospitalised for attempts in the past and was just verbally abused, so i've just kept to myself since then

 

[eternalmelancholy]

They told me I was too much of a pussy to commit suicide. This was years ago. Never brought it up again with anyone after that.