Hello everyone,
I hope I'm in the right section here, and I apologize for the English—I'm using a translator.
I also apologize for the long text.
I would really love to hear from others: when planning your own exit (should the time come), would you factor other people into your plans? Would you actually go through with it, or would you end up waiting?
In my case, the only people I would be leaving behind—and who would subsequently find me—are my parents. For years now, my greatest wish has simply been to fall asleep peacefully. Ideally from a heart attack or something similar—at night, while I sleep. Just to find peace and escape this stupid world, these endless, repetitive days, and this hamster wheel of existence.
But I feel such terrible guilt because of my parents.
Especially now that they are getting old. My father is currently confined to a nursing bed; if I were gone, my mother would be left all alone with him and the family home.
I've been helping her with his care, and for years I've also been handling the maintenance work required for the house and garden. I have no idea how she's supposed to manage all of that on her own.
Her own health is already fragile due to respiratory issues.
It would break my heart if my father ended up having to be moved into a nursing home immediately because she simply couldn't cope.
Then again, perhaps she *would* manage—handling both the household and the caregiving duties. He might only have a few years left to live anyway. I would also leave behind some money; perhaps that would allow her to hire a gardener to tend to the yard every three weeks or so.
If I were to make a "Yes or No" list regarding this decision, the "Yes" column would be completely full—whereas the "No" column would contain only my parents.
I am over 40, but the problem is that I am an only child, and my parents are getting old. My father underwent surgery for cancer last year and, unfortunately, remains confined to his nursing bed. There is still hope that he might get back on his feet again.
My mother spends her entire day occupied with his care. I pitch in and, for years now, have also taken on the chores and maintenance tasks that come up around my parents' house and garden.
I have a bad back due to an accident that happened many years ago.
Consequently, I suffer from back pain, shoulder pain, headaches, and frequent dental problems. Physically speaking, I actually feel like I'm 80 years old.
I nearly died in that accident all those years ago, and so often I've wished that things had turned out that way back then.
It would have been over so quickly.
In fact, I had almost decided to go through with it today—this was the day I intended to do it.
It also has to do with my job. As a quiet, reserved person, this work environment is absolute hell. After a few weeks away, I have to go back in person tomorrow. My heart is pounding just thinking about it, because I really don't want to go. With everything combined, today would have been the perfect day.
This is partly because of an incident involving a female colleague a few weeks ago. She got it into her head that I was stalking her—that I had filmed her at some point, and all sorts of other nonsense like that. None of which is true. But that matter is still being sorted out. She insisted on filing a formal complaint. I also need to intercept the final report on this matter; otherwise, my parents will receive it, and I don't want them finding out about any of this.
I've actually wanted to find a different job—or try something new—for a long time now. But I just can't bring myself to apply anywhere, largely because I'm quite shy. It's simply the fear of everything being new—new colleagues, having to learn the ropes all over again, and so on.
And right now, given the state of the economy, there are practically no job openings available.
The mere thought of having to keep working for another 20-plus years—waking up in pain every single day and having to grit my teeth and push through until evening at a job I no longer have any affection for—is unbearable.
However, since my parents are currently undergoing renovations at the house—which involves a lot of appointments and scheduling—and since I haven't yet managed to tidy up my own belongings or clear out my computer files and such, I can't go through with it just yet.
I need to get everything organized, settle my affairs, and gather my thoughts first.
I have no idea what's going to happen at work tomorrow.
But anyway—on to my main question. If everything pointed to "yes"—and the only reason you might say "no" was the thought of your parents—would you still go through with it?
I've always told myself that I would definitely do it the moment I was on my own. But if my mother lives to be as old as her own mother did, she still has another 23 years ahead of her.
That would mean having to hold out here for a very long time.
I simply don't know. I'd love to hear your thoughts—and please don't hold back; this isn't meant as an encouragement for anyone to do anything. I'm purely interested in knowing whether you would prioritize your own well-being, or put others first—even if doing so meant continuing to "break down" inside.
I hope I'm in the right section here, and I apologize for the English—I'm using a translator.
I also apologize for the long text.
I would really love to hear from others: when planning your own exit (should the time come), would you factor other people into your plans? Would you actually go through with it, or would you end up waiting?
In my case, the only people I would be leaving behind—and who would subsequently find me—are my parents. For years now, my greatest wish has simply been to fall asleep peacefully. Ideally from a heart attack or something similar—at night, while I sleep. Just to find peace and escape this stupid world, these endless, repetitive days, and this hamster wheel of existence.
But I feel such terrible guilt because of my parents.
Especially now that they are getting old. My father is currently confined to a nursing bed; if I were gone, my mother would be left all alone with him and the family home.
I've been helping her with his care, and for years I've also been handling the maintenance work required for the house and garden. I have no idea how she's supposed to manage all of that on her own.
Her own health is already fragile due to respiratory issues.
It would break my heart if my father ended up having to be moved into a nursing home immediately because she simply couldn't cope.
Then again, perhaps she *would* manage—handling both the household and the caregiving duties. He might only have a few years left to live anyway. I would also leave behind some money; perhaps that would allow her to hire a gardener to tend to the yard every three weeks or so.
If I were to make a "Yes or No" list regarding this decision, the "Yes" column would be completely full—whereas the "No" column would contain only my parents.
I am over 40, but the problem is that I am an only child, and my parents are getting old. My father underwent surgery for cancer last year and, unfortunately, remains confined to his nursing bed. There is still hope that he might get back on his feet again.
My mother spends her entire day occupied with his care. I pitch in and, for years now, have also taken on the chores and maintenance tasks that come up around my parents' house and garden.
I have a bad back due to an accident that happened many years ago.
Consequently, I suffer from back pain, shoulder pain, headaches, and frequent dental problems. Physically speaking, I actually feel like I'm 80 years old.
I nearly died in that accident all those years ago, and so often I've wished that things had turned out that way back then.
It would have been over so quickly.
In fact, I had almost decided to go through with it today—this was the day I intended to do it.
It also has to do with my job. As a quiet, reserved person, this work environment is absolute hell. After a few weeks away, I have to go back in person tomorrow. My heart is pounding just thinking about it, because I really don't want to go. With everything combined, today would have been the perfect day.
This is partly because of an incident involving a female colleague a few weeks ago. She got it into her head that I was stalking her—that I had filmed her at some point, and all sorts of other nonsense like that. None of which is true. But that matter is still being sorted out. She insisted on filing a formal complaint. I also need to intercept the final report on this matter; otherwise, my parents will receive it, and I don't want them finding out about any of this.
I've actually wanted to find a different job—or try something new—for a long time now. But I just can't bring myself to apply anywhere, largely because I'm quite shy. It's simply the fear of everything being new—new colleagues, having to learn the ropes all over again, and so on.
And right now, given the state of the economy, there are practically no job openings available.
The mere thought of having to keep working for another 20-plus years—waking up in pain every single day and having to grit my teeth and push through until evening at a job I no longer have any affection for—is unbearable.
However, since my parents are currently undergoing renovations at the house—which involves a lot of appointments and scheduling—and since I haven't yet managed to tidy up my own belongings or clear out my computer files and such, I can't go through with it just yet.
I need to get everything organized, settle my affairs, and gather my thoughts first.
I have no idea what's going to happen at work tomorrow.
But anyway—on to my main question. If everything pointed to "yes"—and the only reason you might say "no" was the thought of your parents—would you still go through with it?
I've always told myself that I would definitely do it the moment I was on my own. But if my mother lives to be as old as her own mother did, she still has another 23 years ahead of her.
That would mean having to hold out here for a very long time.
I simply don't know. I'd love to hear your thoughts—and please don't hold back; this isn't meant as an encouragement for anyone to do anything. I'm purely interested in knowing whether you would prioritize your own well-being, or put others first—even if doing so meant continuing to "break down" inside.
