Discussion Have you ever had good years, when you were truly happy?

[worldexploder]

I never had a full year that I'd consider "good". Just little smidgets here and there of being ok. Then complete devastation. Half of 2006 and half of 2002 was alright. The last time I felt "ok" was late 2011 to like Feb 2012. Honeymoon period. Marriage couldn't "fix" me.

 

[AnnonyBox]

I'd like to think I had good years, but I know that's just nostalgia and the human memory, the first few years of college I enjoyed, because I had the freedom to pursue whatever I wanted, but I know even then I still fell into periods of a deep depression state. My only solace then was to read the sanctioned suicide reddit, hence why I'm here. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Back when I was in the army, I had roughly three months and one day where I was in bliss.
The three months are from my ex. We dated for a while when she had a tourist visa and just randomly popped out of nowhere. It's cringey, but she really was like no other woman. Didn't care for sex, didn't dislike or disrespect me because I was a terrified kid who knows nothing of how to approach a woman and making it suave. When she left, I almost ctb in a port-a-potty back at base. My CO caught me literally a second before I squeezed the trigger. Looking back, a 5.56 to the front lobe would do a lot of damage, but is survivable.
The one day comes from a day I almost killed a dude. Left him scarred pretty bad and got kicked out of the army, though, so there's that. More satisfying than happy.

 

[Sayo]

Maybe very early childhood? I grew up in an unstable and abusive home and have always been neurotic, but I think I was happy for the most part from ages 3-8 because of school and books. I was morbid, though. (I would say the best period of my life was 9-10, when I was in a gifted program, because my teacher worked with me to let me do stimulating work, I was succeeding in my chosen art outside of school, and I had hope for my future. But I was debilitated by anxiety and then depression.)

I also experienced remission from my depression for about nine months after my first brain surgery. I have heard others speak of this: a kind of high you get after a life changing surgery.

Every year or two I'll have a good month where I'm more optimistic. Mania accounts for some of the better periods. Some days aren't excruciating? I don't know.

 

[wiIIow]

I had mental troubles even in early childhood, especially anxiety, but there were still moments of innocence and happiness here and there. So I guess I've never been happy but there were moments where i felt happy up until a few years back. longer if you don't count drug-induced moments of happiness

it brings me a lot of pain to think of these moments, and i do it a lot. at least i was still capable of feeling good sometimes. I even miss my manic episodes

 

[Threads]

I can't truly think of a time where my life was happy. Maybe when I was playing soccer with my friends.

Most of my life has been unhappy.

 

[littlelungs]

Honestly, I can't remember a time when I was truly happy... truly at peace with myself.

I truly wish that wasn't the case.