Discussion Has anyone ever told you that you don't actually want to die because if you did you'd be dead by now?

[weallhaveourghosts]

Has anyone ever told you that you don't actually want to die because if you did you'd be dead by now? I'm thinking back to when a "friend" said that to me.

 

[ma0]

Not that exactly, but I have had people say that I don't actually want to die.

It's a complicated thing for me, partially I just want the pain to end but I also do just want to die somewhat. Hearing that made me slightly agitated.

 

[Griever]

I should have died years ago, but unfortunately I'm still here

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

Yes, someone has told me that.
They said:

for someone who wants to die so badly
u sure do have a habit of staying alive

It pissed me off, because dying in a way that guarantees death is pretty hard.

If there was a button right now that I knew would kill me instantly, I'd press it.

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Not that exactly, but I have had people say that I don't actually want to die.

It's a complicated thing for me, partially I just want the pain to end but I also do just want to die somewhat. Hearing that made me slightly agitated.

Yeah hearing my that person tell me that made me agitated too.

Yes, someone has told me that.
They said:

It pissed me off, because dying in a way that guarantees death is pretty hard.

If there was a button right now that I knew would kill me instantly, I'd press it.

Right? Like so sorry I don't have a magic death button. Would you like me to write out the list of things I've tried? And then she was like "I know exactly how I would it" like yeah and?

I was thinking the other day how I wish I had some like fatal food allergy. I'd be eating all of that food. A death button would be great.

 

[Dante_]

It's ignorant, willful at that.

 

[StupidCat]

If someone told me that I would probably kill myself in front of them.
I don't really tell my suicidal tendencies to anyone.

 

[bankai]

I don't talk to anyone about this stuff. Not in real life, anyway. I'm just waiting to make sure that my CTB method is ironclad.

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

If someone told me that I would probably kill myself in front of them.
I don't really tell my suicidal tendencies to anyone.

Tbh it made me want to die even more kind of out of spite. I had the habit of telling people but no one to tell anymore so I don't anymore.

 

[FoxSauce]

Well not to my face moslty. I dont want to die but I just want the pain to stop.

My moods change drastically
Moslty I havent tried to take my life cuz im a coward but I've expressed it.

The statement Sounds hurtful if you think about it

 

[roommate]

Yea I think I've heard that a couple of times. Probably drunk people at a bar that spit out those things lol

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Yea I think I've heard that a couple of times. Probably drunk people at a bar that spit out those things lol

Drunk people at a bar I wouldn't mind but the fact that it someone I considered a friend was hurtful.

 

[roommate]

Drunk people at a bar I wouldn't mind but the fact that it someone I considered a friend was hurtful.

Oh I did read the title wrong, it's them telling if they wanted to die, they'll be dead by now.. sorry

 

[Sbetto]

Yes, I had a similar conversation with my best friend, who told me I would never have the courage to CTB because I can't even say the word "suicide" or "death" in front of others, underestimating me. Of course, I didn't tell him I have SN.

 

[Require_love]

Yeah. I want to die, I just don't plan to. I can want the pain to end, right?

 

[sunnyside]

My then therapist said to me
"If you wanna die then why are you still alive"

I think what she was trying to do was for me to find positive reasons as to why I'm still alive and focus on those positives. But instead it sounded more like a dare to me because I was highly emotional

 

[intothec]

Yep! C ***

 

[FoxSauce]

My then therapist said to me
"If you wanna die then why are you still alive"

I think what she was trying to do was for me to find positive reasons as to why I'm still alive and focus on those positives. But instead it sounded more like a dare to me because I was highly emotional

Jeez thats awful...
Still if she meant good..she shouldn't have said that.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Tbh it made me want to die even more kind of out of spite. I had the habit of telling people but no one to tell anymore so I don't anymore.

I've had someone tell me this before too and I had the same reaction, like I know this wasn't the intention, but it was almost like he was egging me on/daring me to do it. I think it just comes from a place of ignorance, though, because unless you have been actively suicidal before and gotten to the planning or attempting stage, you can't really grasp just how difficult it is to 1) find a good method and 2) overcome SI to execute said method. Most people only know about suicide from the movies, where all someone has to do is down a handful of pills or get in a bathtub, so they think it's trivial.

 

[endlessmelancholy]

I say that to myself. I'm not sure if I even want to ctb anymore

 

[JamesMoonDerWater]

Yes I have heard that. It surprises me how people forgets that at any given I can just choose violence. Tbfr I just don't cuz that prolly won't do any good for me personally. But omg how many time did I want to punch people for saying shit like that to me...

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yeah. They used to say that. Till I actually started doing it. You can literally die, and people will say that. We cant manipulate SI, and they know even less about it. In fact they may not even know it exists. Ive seen a lot of suicides, and knowing what I know you can see SI often.

 

[CentreMid]

Yes. Wanting something and getting/achieving it, though not mutually exclusive, are two different things, and it's baffling how some people can't grasp this concept.

 

[mydeadflowers]

Last person who told me that was my ex. I used to expect comfort whenever I was told to open up about mental health, but people feel a need to solve problems instead. My ex told me to just die if I'm really so suicidal, I think out of frustration. I feel like I can get really whiny when I'm depressed but I wish I was just told something a bit more comforting instead, even if it was half assed. I just feel too terrified to talk to people in my life about mental health because I will always feel like I'm just gonna be perceived as a threat to myself. The thought of stressing people out over something like that just makes me feel so terrible

 

[metothemoon]

yes, mostly mental health workers. Or you get the question "why are you still alive?" It always makes me feel like such a failure. Cause then I think: "clearly because I failed…."

Once heard a psychiatrist say that anyone could be dead within 2 minutes if they wanted to… Clearly never tried…

 

[CatLvr]

yes, mostly mental health workers. Or you get the question "why are you still alive?" It always makes me feel like such a failure. Cause then I think: "clearly because I failed…."

Once heard a psychiatrist say that anyone could be dead within 2 minutes if they wanted to… Clearly never tried…

I would ask that psychiatrist "Really?? How??"

 

[AreWeWinning]

Has anyone ever told you that you don't actually want to die because if you did you'd be dead by now? I'm thinking back to when a "friend" said that to me.

You mean in real life, or on the forum? No, but that's what I always feel like people should be told, and that's what I tell myself. Complaining and self-pity are fine, I feel that sometimes, but anyone who excessively complains how much they want to die, I can never understand that. Like, what's holding them back? As Seneca said: "we cannot complain of life: it keeps no one against his will. Humanity is well situated, because no man is unhappy except by his own fault".

If someone said that to me, it wouldn't feel great, and if I wanted to live, I would want to keep a distance from that person. But other than that, it's the truth.

 

[2messdup]

Someone in the crisis team and a psychiatric nurse with the community mental health team told me that telling them I'm suicidal is manipulation even if I think I mean it because I'm just using it to communicate I'm emotionally overwhelmed. Very invalidating and dismissive. I don't feel able to call them in future as it'll be in my mind what they think. They don't know I had a failed attempt last week (night-night).
I haven't told anyone except mental health workers and my abusive ex - he ridiculed me, and offered me a knife as a "joke".

 

[niki wonoto]

because suicide is painful, hard, troublesome, & risky, in reality. if only it was that easy, instant, & painless (like Thanos' finger-snap), then i'm sure a lot of people (including me) would have already done it immediately.

 

[2messdup]

You mean in real life, or on the forum? No, but that's what I always feel like people should be told, and that's what I tell myself. Complaining and self-pity are fine, I feel that sometimes, but anyone who excessively complains how much they want to die, I can never understand that. Like, what's holding them back? As Seneca said: "we cannot complain of life: it keeps no one against his will. Humanity is well situated, because no man is unhappy except by his own fault".

If someone said that to me, it wouldn't feel great, and if I wanted to live, I would want to keep a distance from that person. But other than that, it's the truth.

I think you can really really want to die, but there is a reason you haven't. Personally that's the worst place to be in. When I'm impulsive and about to attempt to ctb, it's a tunnel vision with hardly any thoughts. When you want to die but care about the effect on others or some other reason, it's sheer torture.