anyone who has detransitioned, did it make you happier?

[Kokonoe]

i've posted about the topic before, but i'm still seriously considering detransitioning. mostly i just feel forced to more than i specifically want to. but i also see it as strictly a positive for me, like if i detransition so many things get so much better and easier for me long term, and it feels like the "correct" choice. but whenever i tell anyone about that i just essentially get told i'm stupid and shortsighted for even thinking that. it's sort of upsetting to be so aggressively shut down about it, especially when they don't even really bother to understand my reasoning.

if anyone here has detransitioned i'd like to hear their thoughts about it, and if it really did make things better for them or not.

 

[wannabeangel]

i detransitioned and i dont regret it, i dont regret transitioning in the first place either tho i want that very clear, it helped me a lot and a guy voice as a party trick now is fun. i went through quite a few labels, and was on T for about 6-9 months most likely 6, mainly went by genderfluid but had a long time of being a boy or masc enby. i didnt stop HRT to specifically detrans then i just reached a level of androgyny i could bend enough in either direction to pass how i wanted most of the time, and nerve pain from injecting sucked. i detransitioned when i was with my ex husband and tbh yeah it did make things easier, i kinda just made myself not care how i was seen, and i could lean towards whats more "normal" for girls to look like and never be questioned or deal with odd comments especially online. tbh it didnt make too much of a change in how hard things were besides just removing the extra stuff on top people love to pick at, how much it helps depends on a lot of things and also how bad your dysphoria is. i had bad dysphoria before T but after i didnt even care about top surgery anymore so going detrans wasnt too hard on me mentally as i got more comfortable with being fem as i knew i could flip that back to masc if i needed. i havent dressed masc in quite a few years now i think, the main thing that feels better/easier is really just not caring much at all anymore, i gave up on worrying about how i am seen when nobody can truly see anyone, it shouldnt matter to me when my job is to just exist now. inside i feel the same just not dysphoric as i was in my teens, i still dont care what pronouns people use for me i let them pick and idc if im seen as just female even if i still feel complex and still like even using it/its pronouns, i just kinda reached the ultimate level of not giving a fuck that in itself seems easier to function off at least for me

 

[HFK40000]

i've posted about the topic before, but i'm still seriously considering detransitioning. mostly i just feel forced to more than i specifically want to. but i also see it as strictly a positive for me, like if i detransition so many things get so much better and easier for me long term, and it feels like the "correct" choice. but whenever i tell anyone about that i just essentially get told i'm stupid and shortsighted for even thinking that. it's sort of upsetting to be so aggressively shut down about it, especially when they don't even really bother to understand my reasoning.

if anyone here has detransitioned i'd like to hear their thoughts about it, and if it really did make things better for them or not.

I really regret transitioning because I feel like the loneliness outweighs want level of dysphoria I experience. If I didn't get top surgery/ orchi I would have de-transitioned a long time ago.

 

[fadedghost]

I really regret transitioning because I feel like the loneliness outweighs want level of dysphoria I experience. If I didn't get top surgery/ orchi I would have de-transitioned a long time ago.

i don't understand the second sentence.
i feel like people should be able to transition and detransition, but i really wish it wasn't such a political issue.

what sucks is because so many de-transitioners have been claimed by the radical religious right, de-transitioning has this connection to something bad, which is the radical religious right's idea that transitioning is somehow against their weird religious views.

i'm not trans though so this is just my commentary on i wish gender identity hadn't been turned from a medical issue into some bizarre religious debate by the moronic ultra right.

 

[Aunty_Seuss]

I was on the way to transitioning before I ultimately changed my mind. In the end, I've got no clue if I'm better off or worse, a lot things are bad in general which make me feel like shit anyways, I think I just learnt to block the feeling of dysphoria somehow, maybe because I'm faced with a lot of other shitty things at the moment

 

[Kokonoe]

I really regret transitioning because I feel like the loneliness outweighs want level of dysphoria I experience. If I didn't get top surgery/ orchi I would have de-transitioned a long time ago.

i'm sorry it turned out that way for you :(
for me, i'll have the same level of loneliness regardless of whether or not im trans or cis, and i've already accepted my lifelong loneliness, so thankfully it's not much of a factor for me.
my main reason for detransitioning is because i can't regularly do my own shots and need to rely on others (which is very unreliable) so i feel forced to detransition because i simply don't have the ability to actually transition. if i could regularly get my doses without issue i would never even consider detransitioning at all. it's more so just unfortunate circumstance and my own uselessness that i'm even forced to have to do this.
i also just feel like it will fix things hrt wasn't going to long term. i still hate my face, and my body, and hrt never helped any amount of hair loss. i've been on hrt for over 4 years, but thankfully(?) so little has changed i could detransition and let testosterone rape my body even more than it already has, and easily pass for a cishet guy. so easier to just accept being a guy rather than suffer this amount of stress every week and still be forced kill myself before i'm 30.

 

[HFK40000]

What I'm saying is I had a surgery called an ochiecomy and I have breast implants. One of the surgeries is non-reversible and because of that my body does not produce its own hormones. If I could snap my fingers and remake those choices I would choose to not transition.

Being Trans forces you into a little box. It makes it so that only a tiny fraction of the population finds you attractive and is willing to be openly seen with you.

 

[Kokonoe]

i detransitioned and i dont regret it, i dont regret transitioning in the first place either tho i want that very clear, it helped me a lot and a guy voice as a party trick now is fun. i went through quite a few labels, and was on T for about 6-9 months most likely 6, mainly went by genderfluid but had a long time of being a boy or masc enby. i didnt stop HRT to specifically detrans then i just reached a level of androgyny i could bend enough in either direction to pass how i wanted most of the time, and nerve pain from injecting sucked. i detransitioned when i was with my ex husband and tbh yeah it did make things easier, i kinda just made myself not care how i was seen, and i could lean towards whats more "normal" for girls to look like and never be questioned or deal with odd comments especially online. tbh it didnt make too much of a change in how hard things were besides just removing the extra stuff on top people love to pick at, how much it helps depends on a lot of things and also how bad your dysphoria is. i had bad dysphoria before T but after i didnt even care about top surgery anymore so going detrans wasnt too hard on me mentally as i got more comfortable with being fem as i knew i could flip that back to masc if i needed. i havent dressed masc in quite a few years now i think, the main thing that feels better/easier is really just not caring much at all anymore, i gave up on worrying about how i am seen when nobody can truly see anyone, it shouldnt matter to me when my job is to just exist now. inside i feel the same just not dysphoric as i was in my teens, i still dont care what pronouns people use for me i let them pick and idc if im seen as just female even if i still feel complex and still like even using it/its pronouns, i just kinda reached the ultimate level of not giving a fuck that in itself seems easier to function off at least for me

glad to hear it turned out mostly ok for you then, it's reassuring to me at least. i also sort of just don't care how people see me or refer to me anymore so it feels like i just would have to worry about so much less and not much would really change.

 

[HFK40000]

i'm sorry it turned out that way for you :(
for me, i'll have the same level of loneliness regardless of whether or not im trans or cis, and i've already accepted my lifelong loneliness, so thankfully it's not much of a factor for me.
my main reason for detransitioning is because i can't regularly do my own shots and need to rely on others (which is very unreliable) so i feel forced to detransition because i simply don't have the ability to actually transition. if i could regularly get my doses without issue i would never even consider detransitioning at all. it's more so just unfortunate circumstance and my own uselessness that i'm even forced to have to do this.
i also just feel like it will fix things hrt wasn't going to long term. i still hate my face, and my body, and hrt never helped any amount of hair loss. i've been on hrt for over 4 years, but thankfully(?) so little has changed i could detransition and let testosterone rape my body even more than it already has, and easily pass for a cishet guy. so easier to just accept being a guy rather than suffer this amount of stress every week and still be forced kill myself before i'm 30.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I know they are not as effective but have you tried pills? Also progesterone and finasteride might help with the hairline. Hrt isn't a miracle but it's you weight cycle properly it can help shape your body. It just takes time and a lot of effort through diet and exercise.

 

[Kokonoe]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I know they are not as effective but have you tried pills? Also progesterone and finasteride might help with the hairline. Hrt isn't a miracle but it's you weight cycle properly it can help shape your body. It just takes time and a lot of effort through diet and exercise.

i tried pills for a year and effectively set myself back a year in that time. my e levels were non existent and my t shot through the roof (like 400+..) and nothing i tried during that time fixed it. i eventually had to give up and go back to shots to get things to stabilize again. and i also just didn't like how i felt on the pills. and i haven't heard great things about the patches, either...

and i am actually on finasteride and progesterone. 200mg progesterone, 2mg finasteride, 50mg spiro. hasn't done much. spiro is only that low bc my t levels were like, 3-5 when i was on 100mg of it, which was too low.

and i think you're right about the weight cycling thing, that's probably why my sister has such better results than me despite being on hrt for half the time i have :/
unfortunately i think that would be extra difficult for me because i have arfid so eating at all is already a big struggle for me, let alone a specific diet. that + issues with my physical health and energy levels makes it difficult for me to regularly exercise much, too. although i do feel like i'm sorta just making excuses to myself here. i should definitely still try those things regardless. thank you.

 

[HFK40000]

i tried pills for a year and effectively set myself back a year in that time. my e levels were non existent and my t shot through the roof (like 400+..) and nothing i tried during that time fixed it. i eventually had to give up and go back to shots to get things to stabilize again. and i also just didn't like how i felt on the pills. and i haven't heard great things about the patches, either...

and i am actually on finasteride and progesterone. 200mg progesterone, 2mg finasteride, 50mg spiro. hasn't done much. spiro is only that low bc my t levels were like, 3-5 when i was on 100mg of it, which was too low.

and i think you're right about the weight cycling thing, that's probably why my sister has such better results than me despite being on hrt for half the time i have :/
unfortunately i think that would be extra difficult for me because i have arfid so eating at all is already a big struggle for me, let alone a specific diet. that + issues with my physical health and energy levels makes it difficult for me to regularly exercise much, too. although i do feel like i'm sorta just making excuses to myself here. i should definitely still try those things regardless. thank you.

Transitioning certainly isn't easy. What does of estrogen were you in when it was pills?

I also have an eating disorder (anorexia) so I get having a restrictive diet. If you struggle getting calories in via eating food you can always go with drinking your calories. I used to be a powerlifter and I could eat enough to get my protein goals so I drank a gallon of whole milk everyday. Plenty of calories, fat and protein. I lied to myself by saying it didn't count as food.

 

[wannabeangel]

glad to hear it turned out mostly ok for you then, it's reassuring to me at least. i also sort of just don't care how people see me or refer to me anymore so it feels like i just would have to worry about so much less and not much would really change.

the not caring part will bring you a long way, and it does bring less stress when you dont care how others see you. detransitioning didnt solve my other problems but it kinda just took away the extra stressors that come with keeping up a specific gendered apperance and the only thing that really changes is the words people use referring to you if dysphoria isnt too bad. but, if staying transitioned feels better for your own mental wellbeing that should be taken into consideration, especially when it comes to body dysphoria when on HRT, and if you feel extremely forced to then that could backfire. even tho i def dont regret it i still get bouts of dysphoria here and there but i cope with it a lot better and it passes and im back to not caring. i wish i could give more advice or anything, its so different for everyone tho that it can be hard to know what to say, but it's def not impossible for it to be okay