lotus.dead
I just want to be an angel...
- May 4, 2026
- 42
I'm not ready to die, but every day i have thoughts that bother me, make me feel worthless and depressed. after 2 months of being clean, i started cutting again. it felt so satisfying and relieving, but after a week it stopped working. i got so desperate now i hang myself partially by tying a pair of pants to the bed frame. my lips would turn blue, and i could barely move my arms and legs but it would calm me down so much that i could fall asleep (i untie and put the pants under the pillow). it's been going on for a week and a half but it's starting to work less and less. now i feel like fully hanging myself just to calm down.