parnassius_mnemosyn
Member
- Jan 18, 2026
- 14
I applied to 4 this year, and this was the one I expected to be "the easiest" to get into. I will get all my answers by the beginning of may. I'm currently NEET, (on and off for almost 2 years), and maybe that is affecting my chances. The applications took months to prepare, I managed to gather all of my remaining ambition to get it done, all for nothing. I honestly can't take another year of not having a clear trajectory in life. If I get into uni I'll have at least 3 years figured out. It'll be easier to socialise with people with similar interests. I'm seeing all the people my age get into prestigious universities, have bright futures ahead, get lots of friends easy peasy, financial support from parents. I honestly don't have the energy to try beyond this, if this fails I'm ending it. My energy and hope is being drained and if none of my efforts are rewarded this time around, I have no more effort to give. It probably sounds dumb, but when I have nothing guaranteed to look forward to, I dont even have enough energy and will power to hold down a job, so that is unfortunately not an option for me. University is the only thing that could tide me over right now, and its looking like that is not in the cards. I'm so tired of being behind.
I have some commitments in may that I am kind of looking forward to. So I will do it after I receive the other rejections, and once may is over.
I tried ending it very spontaneously recently and it failed. I'm going to take some time planning it, and mentally preparing for dying and death. I might travel to a nice place to do it, it'll distract me from how lonely and scary it will probably be. Might build up some determination. I know it has to be done but I am still terrified.
I'm always worried about sounding entitled in posts like this. I know I am not owed a single acceptance letter, or anything really (I fucked my own life up after all), but I'm just stating the fact that the upcoming rejections will likely push me over the edge. Uhhh yeah that's it
I have some commitments in may that I am kind of looking forward to. So I will do it after I receive the other rejections, and once may is over.
I tried ending it very spontaneously recently and it failed. I'm going to take some time planning it, and mentally preparing for dying and death. I might travel to a nice place to do it, it'll distract me from how lonely and scary it will probably be. Might build up some determination. I know it has to be done but I am still terrified.
I'm always worried about sounding entitled in posts like this. I know I am not owed a single acceptance letter, or anything really (I fucked my own life up after all), but I'm just stating the fact that the upcoming rejections will likely push me over the edge. Uhhh yeah that's it
