Got rejected again for being too “high risk” and “complex”

[nitrogenous]

I am so tired of life, every time I want to get better and thought that there might be slight hope, life always turns out to be the worst. Several medical professionals have turned me downed for being too high risk. I initially despise them for this and even became more eager to prove them wrong and get help.

However, it's obvious, the more I try to get help, the more rejections I get. A couple weeks back, I got told "we normally would offer mental health support to others, but considering you have too much on your plate, I don't think it will be helpful for us to help you". And just earlier, I got told by the receptionist of this psychiatry clinic that every psychiatrist has refused to take me onboard as I need a case management and due to the complexity of the case. Reinforcing once again how I am already beyond help.

People kept on challenging my suicidality, as in why am I still alive if I really wanted to die? Maybe it is now time to prove them wrong, to make them see that I am being serious that I want to end my life. It's not just to prove them wrong, but more importantly, to finally let go of all my suffering and pain. I don't belong in this earth that is filled with such cruelty. I just want to be at peace.

I keep on being scared that I will fail my next attempt with SN, but I really need to start gathering my courage and do what I have always wanted to do. To catch the bus before it's all too late…

 

[peacebenow]

I am so sorry that you're going through this. I can understand being a too complex patient. There can be those out there that do not see you this way and do have the ability and knowledge to help you. Those ones do not.

 

[starboy2k]

You try to reach out for help……gets rejected because you don't check the boxes for the "perfect patient".

You don't reach out for help…..you're a lost cause who just wants attention and are labeled a "monster that society unfortunately has to deal with".

You can never win.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose it's the culture of blame we have developed that make these people nervous of taking on 'high risk' patients. Still- the whole thing is so bizarre really. Imagine if it was like that for physical ailments- hmmm- that broken bone looks partcular difficult to fix so- we're not even going to try. Nevermind the pain you're in.

Do they even bother to try to refer you to someone else- who may have the skills? Obviously, they don't want to cause more harm than good but- the way they phrase it- it does sound as if they're saying- we can't be bothered with the liability.

 

[peacebenow]

I suppose it's the culture of blame we have developed that make these people nervous of taking on 'high risk' patients. Still- the whole thing is so bizarre really. Imagine if it was like that for physical ailments- hmmm- that broken bone looks partcular difficult to fix so- we're not even going to try. Nevermind the pain you're in.

Do they even bother to try to refer you to someone else- who may have the skills? Obviously, they don't want to cause more harm than good but- the way they phrase it- it does sound as if they're saying- we can't be bothered with the liability.

It can also be this way for physical ailments.

 

[nitrogenous]

You try to reach out for help……gets rejected because you don't check the boxes for the "perfect patient".

You don't reach out for help…..you're a lost cause who just wants attention and are labeled a "monster that society unfortunately has to deal with".

You can never win.

Exactly, it's either being told that we're beyond help when consumers do reach out or told that we "don't want to get help or recover at all" when we withdraw due to the anxiety and fear of getting mistreated. Even worse, I've been told by my old medical team to "fake my suicidality" when being risk assessed (as in to not admit to any suicidality at all) as they don't want to be held liable

I suppose it's the culture of blame we have developed that make these people nervous of taking on 'high risk' patients. Still- the whole thing is so bizarre really. Imagine if it was like that for physical ailments- hmmm- that broken bone looks partcular difficult to fix so- we're not even going to try. Nevermind the pain you're in.

Do they even bother to try to refer you to someone else- who may have the skills? Obviously, they don't want to cause more harm than good but- the way they phrase it- it does sound as if they're saying- we can't be bothered with the liability.

Exactly, just because mental health issues can't be seen doesn't mean that it's not as serious. Look at the consequences of neglecting mental health problems… literally death… How is it not as fatal as physical problems then? And then also comes the stigma of having physical health issues when you've had pre-existing mental health issues, because my experience so far is that no matter how fatal it is (I even had to go to emergency for my physical health issues), they would just label it as "anxiety" or "you're overthinking too much"

No. If any, I got told "no one else can help you" "people's knee jerk reaction is to get rid of you because they don't know what to do with you" "it's not helpful for us to help you" "I don't know what to do" "I don't know how to help you" "it's your life, you're an adult, you have choices. You can choose to kill yourself if you wish to" "just stop being suicidal"

I remember back when I still had plenty of mental health professionals helping me, they all avoided me when I reached out to them, wanting them to help with safety planning after I ordered the SN. They really didn't want to deal with the liability of me ending my life after interacting with them. Even worse, the suicide prevention service deliberately avoided seeing me when they knew I would be high risk as they, once again, didn't want to deal with the paperworks if I ended up dying the same day…