Venting feeling like an object

[wCvML2]

Sometimes I look at myself from above and I just hate everything about the thing that I see. I truly hate myself.

It would sound really vain but I think I kinda delayed my death just to get fit , and not leave behind a plump heavy pimply and disgusting body.

And I have a suicidal friend that wasn't going into therapy, and I was worried I would inpsire her - but as of recently, she is starting right now treating her mental ilness.

I think I'll kill myself when I'll be a little thinner.

 

[Jred]

Nice. I wish I had just done it in the deepest of my anorexia, but at 80lbs I think part of me was waiting to die of malnutrition and overexertion, and then the 'treatment' came. Lmao, lessons learned. Fuck antidepressants, I gained so much goddamn weight and I still want to die.
But I don't have the drive to bother dying as thinspo or patience to wait too long anymore, and for your drive, I applaud you.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living is very painful, as our thoughts can torture us. It really can be so awful being alive. I hope you find relief from suffering in whatever happens.