feeling guilty...

[nomorefight]

does anyone else feel guilty about who would have to find them?

I have my plan set and Im ready to post my goodbye thread and I have been for a few nights. the problem is I have nowhere else to ctb other than my apartment which means it would be impossible to avoid my roommate having to find me. we are close friends and i dont know if she even remembers but i did once promise her if i ever ctb i would make sure she would not be the one to find me because that would be too much for her to handle. i just dont know any other options. i would do it at home but i cant fly due to covid and i dont know how much longer i can hold out.

 

[Harleyyy]

Yeah. If i ctb it is certain that one of my family members will find me, and it doesn't seem fair to inflict that kind of trauma onto someone. But sometimes you're desperate am i right

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

for this reason, i've been thinking about doing it outdoors in a secluded area and then calling the police. it sounds stupid, but at least the police are equipped to deal with this stuff. the only problem is finding a method that would kill me before the cops find me. if i'm gonna leave my family with the trauma of my suicide, the least i can do is spare them the trauma of finding my body.

i guess you can say that despite being trained for things like this, it'll still leave nasty effects on their mind. but i guess i can't find myself to care that much, because they're strangers. i'd still feel guilty, but not as guilty as i would feel if my mom found me.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If you can afford to fly, then can't you get a hotel room instead?

 

[Nymph]

Can relate, I can only ctb in my apartment where I live with my mother most of the time. She would be the one to find me. I wish I could go to some kind of forest but I'm antisocial and hate going outside so that could raise suspicion and also I'm scared that a stranger finds me and I could get raped/used/etc etc. that thought scared me a lot. Imagine ctbing, some weirdo finds your body and starts fucking u. Ugh this fucking world