Venting Ex finally blocked me

[Yume Nikki]

Had to get this out of there, he broke up with me back in November, so it's been 2 months already, and I just checked to see that I've been blocked by him on Tiktok and removed from his gaming server on Discord. It's been hard to fight off the feelings of despair. Every memory I look back on makes me cringe and unhappy, knowing fully well none of it was real. Just a fantasy in my head. I miss the days where I was single and carefree, back when I didn't need or want anyone, and was fine with it. He was a mistake in my life. One that I never want to make again. I threw away everything he got me. The plush, sunglasses, dress, heart shell, all tossed in the trash, and while it did make me feel better, a sense of depression hit me like a wave. As if I had to say goodbye to everything that once made me whole. A life I'll never get to experience, gone in the blink of an eye.

 

[Worndown]

I am sorry he turned out to be a bad choice. It happens.
Can you spend a little time and revisit some of your carefree life? It sounds like a happy time. If you have purged him from your home, try to look past him emotionally.

 

[Yume Nikki]

I am sorry he turned out to be a bad choice. It happens.
Can you spend a little time and revisit some of your carefree life? It sounds like a happy time. If you have purged him from your home, try to look past him emotionally.

I'm engaging in my old hobbies again, such as fandoms and video games. It is a struggle sometimes though, since he manages to creep back in my head again, and the cycle repeats. I removed him on everything except Instagram since it was delaying the healing process. I had to let go of the false hope lurking in my brain that he'll return, knowing well that he won't, I'm probably just another psycho crazy ex to him. But it doesn't matter.

 

[Peter Skellern]

I am sorry he turned out to be a bad choice. It happens.
Can you spend a little time and revisit some of your carefree life? It sounds like a happy time. If you have purged him from your home, try to look past him emotionally.

Very sound advice.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Relate to this so much. The mistake isn't worth it.

I thought getting rid of all of the things my ex gave me would help but it didn't. It's like I was giving away the happiness I had in that moment. I hate modern dating - the ghosting, the blocking, the abusive texts, all of it. It's not worth it - the happiness is brief and is overpowered by hellish waves of flashbacks. I won't make that mistake again. He didn't make me whole but for a brief moment I felt like i had someone who understood and even liked me.

And I have no one now, but at least I know that's my truth.

 

[Yume Nikki]

Relate to this so much. The mistake isn't worth it.

I thought getting rid of all of the things my ex gave me would help but it didn't. It's like I was giving away the happiness I had in that moment. I hate modern dating - the ghosting, the blocking, the abusive texts, all of it. It's not worth it - the happiness is brief and is overpowered by hellish waves of flashbacks. I won't make that mistake again. He didn't make me whole but for a brief moment I felt like i had someone who understood and even liked me.

And I have no one now, but at least I know that's my truth.

Agreed, if I could go back and not have ever met him in the hospital, I would do it in a heartbreak. It would've saved me months of suffering. I was alone before I met him but I was happy in my solitude. Those moments of happiness are temporary and are often accompanied by heartache and pain. It just leaves you questioning if anything was real. He was my best friend too, we'd call on the phone for hours late at night. I felt like I truly found my other half, but then reality came crashing down around Fall.

I don't know if you've done it already but I definitely recommend throwing the things they gave you away for closure, keeping them will just keep you stuck ruminating about the past since objects trigger memories of nostalgia. But if it's too hard at the moment, try putting them in a box away from sight so that you won't get triggered. It's sad that we have no one to support us, but maybe it'll get better one day when we can learn to adapt without them.

 

[Worndown]

I'm engaging in my old hobbies again, such as fandoms and video games. It is a struggle sometimes though, since he manages to creep back in my head again, and the cycle repeats. I removed him on everything except Instagram since it was delaying the healing process. I had to let go of the false hope lurking in my brain that he'll return, knowing well that he won't, I'm probably just another psycho crazy ex to him. But it doesn't matter.

Wear the badge "ex" with pride! Of all the people he knows or will know, you are the lucky one having him in your past.

 

[Unrequitedlife]

All our decisions in life are a gamble, I'm sorry this one didn't pay off. Just focus on you now. You are worth it

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

This is a blessing in disguise, trust me. Now that he's out of your life completely, you can focus more directly on healing and redirect any energy you spent thinking about him.

I will always say, especially after going through it, a relationship failing usually isn't the best reason to ctb, especially because those emotions are temporary. Sure, there will be some lingering sadness for a while, but eventually you'll look back and wonder why you were so worked up! :)

I don't have much advice but I can say, it gets better with time.

 

[needthebus]

yep, you need total no contact whatsoever to get over someone

he did the decent thing

youll feel less awful in 6 months

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Agreed, if I could go back and not have ever met him in the hospital, I would do it in a heartbreak. It would've saved me months of suffering. I was alone before I met him but I was happy in my solitude. Those moments of happiness are temporary and are often accompanied by heartache and pain. It just leaves you questioning if anything was real. He was my best friend too, we'd call on the phone for hours late at night. I felt like I truly found my other half, but then reality came crashing down around Fall.

I don't know if you've done it already but I definitely recommend throwing the things they gave you away for closure, keeping them will just keep you stuck ruminating about the past since objects trigger memories of nostalgia. But if it's too hard at the moment, try putting them in a box away from sight so that you won't get triggered. It's sad that we have no one to support us, but maybe it'll get better one day when we can learn to adapt without them.

I've sold or thrown anything out. I still have nightmares and intrusive thoughts. I had over 3,000 texts back and forth from each other during us dating but he walked away and was insulting, cruel and violent. It will get better when memories fade I hope. I feel destroyed.

 

[Yume Nikki]

I've sold or thrown anything out. I still have nightmares and intrusive thoughts. I had over 3,000 texts back and forth from each other during us dating but he walked away and was insulting, cruel and violent. It will get better when memories fade I hope. I feel destroyed.

I'm sorry that happened to you, how long ago was the breakup? maybe as years go by, it won't hurt as much anymore. My situation is kind of complicated since he was abusive during our time together.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I'm sorry that happened to you, how long ago was the breakup? maybe as years go by, it won't hurt as much anymore. My situation is kind of complicated since he was abusive during our time together.

Same - he was increasingly abusive in the relationship. It was a few years ago - we tried to stay friends but he just increased the emotional abuse even afterwards, so stopped talking about 6 months ago. I'm trying to make new memories and get therapy but it's been so hard.