Venting Ever notice attempts take days?

[alexit]

I've honestly lost count how many times I've attempted, mostly because some are on the edge of what would classify as an attempt. Testing out methods, suddenly trying one out without planning ... on top of the all the planned attempts. I'm failing so much it's becoming annoying and making me more irritable. Good attempts take money, and I find I fail so much I'm having to save up time to recover, as well, to go back to work to get the money for materials to try again. I'm at the point of just saving up for a gun but I'm just predicting I'll fail and just end up disfigured. Sigh.

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

Yes, I have already failed twice using methods that I believed to be foolproof.

The first one was grotesque and made on impulse because I really wanted to cause a commotion. The other one I was better prepared (bought antifreeze) but by pure chance I ended up surviving.

This time I think I need to prepare twice as good, failing again is NOT an option.

 

[feast or famine]

I've failed more than once so you're not alone. This upcoming plan of mine has to work. Last time I failed, I ended up in the hospital/psych ward and I don't want to endure that again. It's better to plan things out carefully so there's no room for error. But I get your frustration in having failed multiple times. You'd think I have 9 lives or something, it's ridiculous.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I rush into too many things and fail at a lot of them. This is going to be one thing I plan, over weeks and months. If I rush I might as well not even try because it won't work.

And this will work.

 

[MyLifeMyChoice]

It is the natural survival instinct that ruins our attempts, along with bad luck. I remember that whenever I tried to hang myself, from my early teens till now I had many unsuccessful attempts. The majorit were when I could not just carry on with my hanging because of fear. Whenever I got the courage, I often could not step down from the table, or bend down. It felt like I sometimes did not tie the knot properly so it came off easily, even if I checked multiple times.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Right now I'm torn about setting a date. Part of me feels it's the way to go, so that I can be properly prepared - both in terms of all the items I need but also mentally prepared. Another part of me feels like it's a definite way to chicken out, because you build up so much anticipation and anxiety about a certain day and if on that day you're not feeling it, you feel like a failure for not going through with it. Still don't know if it's better to plan or to just go when the time feels right. I know it takes time to regroup after an attempt... it was three weeks between my first two, and it's been two months since my last one. I have everything, though. Just waiting...