Venting "Emotionally manipulative friend"?

[anonymouswebuser]

Summary: stuck with my supposedly -emotionally manipulative- friend because he manages to make me feel guilty when i think of leaving him so i can't yaaay i love my life<333

Breakdown: I have a 'friend' I got to know last year, I got to know him at a particularly rough time and he noticed that so he was being one of the most caring friends ever he was there for me when no one else was so naturally I got attached to him (no, I don't hold romantic feelings for him) and our friendship went on he discovered my hobbies and is now asking for my work to help him in projects or to just gift them to someone else and I without a thought would comply
but ever since then when I enter a depressive state he's more neglecting or rather he just does half hearted attempts at offering any sort of support, only does it when I'm actually on the verge of shattering or when it takes me too long to get back to normal myself or when he needs me for his projects
As time went on I felt like our friendship became a little bit toxic but I kept quiet which is a mistake I admit of and he didn't discuss any boundaries either, we'd have more arguments than usual because of my mental health and he'd resort to withdrawing any sort of affection or support and resort to silent treatment because he knows I'm already attached to him so I will come back either way but on his side I've come to realize he doesn't need me for anything more than just favors of any kind
I'd always feel like I'm the one at fault and apologize whether it's actually my fault or not in the argument and in every argument I'd always feel guilty he puts words in my mouth that I didn't say about him personally I sometimes would argue back but in the end it's all the same result: I come back to him like a dog.

The people I talked to about him kept calling him emotionally manipulative in which I guess they're right
Ever since I actually read about that term he matches the description to a painfully accurate degree but sometimes I feel like he's not actually like that and that I'm just overreacting and playing victim which just makes me question who's actually in the wrong

Sorry for this long ahh thread

 

[Redacted24]

I'm so sorry you've ended up with someone like this. Somewhere deep inside they have serious problems that they can't (or won't) recognize for themselves, and they feel compelled to find someone nice and genuine and caring and reasonable to leverage emotional power over.

Arguing, withholding affection, non- participation in the relationship, silent treatment... those are all classic indicators of emotional abuse.

Nothing you can do or say will get them to change. You could discuss your concerns with term, set boundaries and encourage or demand that they seek mental help if they want to continue the relationship.

But you need to be the one prepared to find the courage to put your foot down and walk away.

Staying in an emotional abuse situation will only damage you, your sense of self, and your physical health.

Don't believe me? Consult a mental health professional on your own.

But please, please - from a suicidal victim of long term emotional abuse - don't continue to accept the status quo.

You're worth so much more than that.
Wishing you strength and confidence.
We're in this together.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

U are not playing the victim u are the victim, he might do it intentionally or not but he still is manipulating you. I think u realizing that he is abusive is a good step into breaking this cycle and finally letting him go, there are people who will be as good as he was or even better without the abuse that comes with being friends with him. Give yourself some time to think about it and away from him and u will realize what u want. Much love

 

[anonymouswebuser]

I'm so sorry you've ended up with someone like this. Somewhere deep inside they have serious problems that they can't (or won't) recognize for themselves, and they feel compelled to find someone nice and genuine and caring and reasonable to leverage emotional power over.

Arguing, withholding affection, non- participation in the relationship, silent treatment... those are all classic indicators of emotional abuse.

Nothing you can do or say will get them to change. You could discuss your concerns with term, set boundaries and encourage or demand that they seek mental help if they want to continue the relationship.

But you need to be the one prepared to find the courage to put your foot down and walk away.

Staying in an emotional abuse situation will only damage you, your sense of self, and your physical health.

Don't believe me? Consult a mental health professional on your own.

But please, please - from a suicidal victim of long term emotional abuse - don't continue to accept the status quo.

You're worth so much more than that.
Wishing you strength and confidence.
We're in this together.

I already used to have a therapist they got an idea of him but not the full idea, they weren't happy about it either way so I guess I'm not overreacting as much as I thought

Thanks for ur kind words though<33