Venting Don’t want to hurt him

[tired of living]

I have a friend I love dearly.

He is depressed too, and I know if I do anything, it will probably put him in a dark place. I know I sound self absorbed to think anyone could actually care about me, and what kind of suicidal person am I if I don't believe I'll leave unnoticed?

It kills me to even think of hurting him and this is why I've always told myself to stay distant from people. I've struggled with wanting to be alive for a long time, so I wouldn't want to make close friends just to hurt them like that.

I know he would be okay after a while. I just know there's the possibility I'll be responsible for his death too. He very well could turn around and follow me.

But on the other hand, he will be okay. He doesn't need me.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be hard to deal with being in that situation, I get that it can be difficult when you feel a need to leave this world yet you are leaving someone else behind. But after all, I believe suicide to be a personal choice and we have the right to exit even if it will hurt others. Death and loss will always be inevitable in life. I wish you the best.