Discussion Do your siblings turn out the same or different than you?

[valar_morghulis21]

Lots of people have depression and mental illness due to their upbringings and parents, me included. My younger sister in the first glance seems "fine" ( I mean who is truly fine in this world?). She's not gloomy and suicidal like me. She's more bubbly, do well in university, have lots of friend, active social life, enjoy shopping and expensive things and wanna make lots of money in the future etc. In general she got all the quality capitalism wants in a white collar worker (no shade).

But she got a pattern of relationship hopping. Ever since she was 15/16, she always been in a serious relationship. One of them lasted a few years or so, the rest range within 6 months. That damn girl truly can't be alone with herself. Every boyfriend is the love of her life. Even tho I told her to reflect on what she wants, set a higher standard, heal, and grieve the breakup or whatever it is to process emotions, she doesn't seem to care much.

I guess I do blame my parents for her viewpoint on love and relationship, to a certain degree. It's just so jarring to see 2 siblings grew up in the same household turn out to be so different.

How about you guys?

 

[DarkLordVoldy]

My brother is the golden child and i'm the misfit - it's like that in most families

 

[lastspaghetti]

Haven't seen my brother in over ten years, he was always a horrible person and really violent. Has been in (probably drug induced) psychosis for years now but hasn't tried to stab anyone to death at least from what I know. I think I am the way I am partly because of him - he was always fucked up and my parents didn't know what to do about it so I ended up as collateral. Apparently I was the golden child for our early years at least and I think that had a lot to do with how he turned out. He had language development problems and was apparently already violent enough as a toddler to warrant some professional attention back then but it unfortunately that didn't last.

 

[violetforever]

in adolescence, the same. in adulthood or approaching it, they are doing better than me is all i can say. i dont know how much better it can get while still being a member of my family though.

It's just so jarring to see 2 siblings grew up in the same household turn out to be so different.

thats exactly how i feel but i guess we have to remember we may have the same shared experience in our families but different experiences outside of family. different friend groups, different schools/classes/teachers, different online activity.

 

[Spite]

My sister is the total opposite of me - super confident and outgoing, extroverted, loves being in the sun and the outdoors, has a huge friend group, very sociable. We are vastly different from each other.

 

[itsgone2]

My brother was similar. Angry. Misfit. Killed himself a few years ago. Gun.

Sister started out rough. Now doing incredibly well.

I wish I had it to do over and my brother and I could be happy. But as it is I'm impressed he figured it out. Overcame si. Sad, but at peace.

 

[darksouls]

my sister and I are very different,
she enjoys life,
my sister told me that she views death as a punishment

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

My sibling is just another normie.

 

[OldAlan]

My brother was just like me. And like me, he kept it all hidden, until he killed himself. I'm better now, but it took 50 years to get myself here.

My sister is so different - happy, with a family. I enjoy talking to her.

 

[whaleandwasp]

Different for sure! I was the one that showed all the potential. I was the one who had academic achievemnets from the earliest days of school onward. I was in the top of of my class. Learning, especially mathematics, came easy to me. Teachers said I was gifted. I was the only one to go to college out of the 4 of us. I am also gay. Well, like 90% gay, 10% bisexual. And yet, I ended up with a dumpster fire of a life and no success while they did well for themselves. They're responsibe, own homes and good credit scores. We alll have good work ethics, but my life has been turned upside down by tragedy, illness, and injury.

As far as mental illness, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one of us 4 with an account on this website. They have suffered from general depression and especially anxiety like most people. Severe mental illness does run in my family on my dad's side. I've only ever been diagnosed with Depression, severe anxiety and panic disorder, ADD/ADHD, and more recently PTSD. But I suspect there is another diagnosis in there that hasn't been uncovered yet.

 

[Lemelonade]

My brother has had his share of depression and difficulties in his youth, but he's doing extremely well now. He's two years younger than me and very successful professionally, socially and relationship-wise.

I'm glad I don't feel much envy anymore, especially since I made the decision to end my life early. I know why things are the way they are. Growing up, I was more of a daddy's girl while he was more attached to our mum. Our dad moved out when we were 4 and 6 years old, and I seemed to have a much harder time with that. While I was the "gifted child" and did well academically, he has always had an easier time making friends and enjoying life. I on the other hand, was a broody, anxious, introverted child who was possibly autistic, lived too much in her own head and questioned things too much for her own good. I took on too much responsibility too early and tried to be my parents' emotional support at the expense of my own development. My first sexual experiences were not consensual. It's really no wonder that things turned out the way they did.

My brother went to therapy for three years and since then, his life has only gotten better. Meanwhile I've been going to therapy for the past 15 years, which is my entire adult life, and I tried not only therapy but a whole lot of other methods, and I'm just burnt out.

Unlike my brother though, I developed a lot of empathy for people who are suffering and I'm not afraid of exploring life's deep questions. My brother also supports the far right while I am on the other end of the political spectrum. He believes in capitalism and investing and all that and thinks that immigration bans will make him feel safer in life. This is why I don't envy him and would never want to switch places with him. And also because he's my brother and I love him and don't want him to suffer like I do.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I got 4 siblings 3 of them have family and living life alright and my 4th sibling brother is introverted I don't much about him we live in the same house still. I can't understand much. And I guess we are very very different from the older siblings as we were born late.

 

[Special Week]

Same, my father is going to have another child and that damn baby is going to have things that I didn't have, literally the son of a bitch of my father has replaced me, literally I was a mistake, since my father left with some crazy poor woman out there, On top of putting me through hell as a child, and now the bastard's run off with some fat, rich bitch who lives the easy life and is going to have a kid with her, honestly, now I'm more ready than ever to kill myself. This whole thing about my future brother is literally an ultimatum for me

 

[johndon14]

Me and my brother are very different, but we have our share of similarities I don't like to admit. We both have our share of mental health issues, I would definitely argue he has it worse than me. Unfortunately my brother has become a terrible person, he is a leech who destroys everyone around him exclusively out of selfish desire and an ignorance to the state of those around him. There is a point as you get older in childhood where your shared experiences don't form you as much as your perception, interpretation, and response of those experiences do. Every person processes things differently and I think that's what causes siblings to change so drastically. I also would say no sibling has a true shared experience. Also I feel like it's significantly more rare to become similar to your sibling if you went through a traumatic event together (especially in early childhood) because that's something that largely alters your brain in an unpredictable way, there is very slim chance for your brains to be randomly damaged in the same way.

 

[ikiruNObungaku]

I have three siblings. I am the youngest, but I primarily live with one and have spent my entire life with that one. We are total opposites.

We grew up with the same parents, in the same environments, yet we could not be further in difference. After going through a traumatic event, we both became mentally ill, but channeled our responses differently and it lead to this drastic difference. Now they are very brash, unstable, impulsive, and has chosen to isolate from society. I am quiet and don't show much emotion at all, but mask myself easy enough to seem normal. They can't at all.

 

[Ashu]

My sister and I were both destroyed by our childhood, but in profoundly different ways.

 

[Meru]

My older sister, 25, is the main reason on why I want to die so badly. Since we were both in foster care, she was extremely abusive to me when I was just a little kid. She would beat me, force me to give up my stuff for her, all of her chores were put onto me, I was basically her personal slave. However, I can never really blame her because she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and she used to cut herself in front of me. She didn't stop until she was maybe 16, but here i am way older than that and I still cut myself lol. she actually got her life together, moved out, a decent job, and she takes care of my little brother who has severe anger issues. However she kicked me out her house and we no longer talk, along with my brother. She has constant outbursts that I couldn't deal with so I would fight with her all the time. Im glad she got better from self harming and her suicidal tendencies, but I wish she would get help for her disorders too. I miss them both sometimes, but i remember how she treated me and I feel bad for myself. Sometimes i dream about catching the bus and envisioning their reactions, whether its regret or relief :( I wasnt diagnosed with bipolar disorder, my mom also had that. But instead I got high functioning autism, and chronic depression-anxiety.