No, never as all I want is to not exist, it's all I could ever hope for, I'd never wish to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence no matter what rather I just want to permanently cease existing, if it's up to me I'd choose to erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, for me non-existence really is all that's positive, I'd be so relieved if I had the option to just peacefully cease existing. I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to be tortured by old age, to me existence really does feel like a mistake, I personally see existence itself as the true problem, it's just something I'd never wish for, I just find it so painful to suffer in this existence I was never meant for, I'd never wish to be burdened with this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting for death anyway.