Do you really want to live, but can't see a way through?

[JamieJambo]

I personally would much rather be happy and I don't actually want to CTB, but my life has become so incredibly bad that I can't imagine living and so I consider CTB.

I am wondering if there are many others in the same boat?

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I mean, kind of. There are ways I "could" live through such as transitioning or conversion therapy to make me content with ASAB, but I'd rather be dead than either of those options. I really do want to live though, but under my own ideal situation and nothing else. The other options just don't seem worth it to me, especially this late in the game.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

The best I can do is survive at this point… But not forever

 

[Lullaby]

It's not something I want at all.

I have so much that I want for myself and my life, but after struggling for so many years and constantly coming across roadblocks, it feels like it's what I have to do. I really try and work hard to be in a better place, but everything keeps fighting against me. It's tiring.

The thought of still being in this position in another 5-10 years is terrifying, and I still feel like there's so much more bad stuff waiting for me. Don't know how much more I can't take when I'm already at my wits end.

I've experienced genuine happiness briefly and it's an amazing feeling, I wish I could live everyday just content and good but sometimes I think I'm not meant for that or maybe I don't deserve it. It really sucks.

 

[Darkover]

i would recover if i could come back from a brain injury but thats not going to happen i am done with all the suffering so i am leaving soon

 

[adesertrose]

Yeah i'm only in high school (i am 18 dont worry lol) and the next few years are going to determine my fate

 

[outrider567]

No, I do not--with my girlfriend's death, life sucks, don't enjoy anything anymore

 

[PrincessInWhite]

Yes, I absolutely wish I could live, I don't want to have to go and it breaks my heart that I do.

 

[jackodonnell]

I would love to live. I would love to pursue my chosen career, fall in love, work to make the world a better place. But I've messed things up for myself too much. I've lost my career forever, I've lost the only man I could ever love, and I feel no joy whatsoever. Everything disgusts me now. I want the old me back. The me that my guy fell in love with. But that version of me died long ago and I can't stand who I am right now. I need to CTB badly.

 

[JamieJambo]

Yes, I absolutely wish I could live, I don't want to have to go and it breaks my heart that I do.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope something gives and your life turns around

 

[PrincessInWhite]

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope something gives and your life turns around

Thank you my friend I feel the same about you. Feel free to hit up my inbox at any time

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If my life was different, I guess, and hope, that my feelings would be reflective of that. But, life is never going to be a place where I can get to that true happiness. Not my life. If I could get there, I'd stick around probably. Some of us got "cheated" right from the start. Some things can't be fixed.

 

[Fengshuiside]

Ehh kinda but not really. If there was a way to reverse my braindamage, get rid of my personality disorder, anhedonia and other mental issues or at least make them a lot more manageable I could maybe consider giving life a try.

But then again I hate society with passion and the direction it's currently globally developing very rapidly. I don't personally want to be here to witness what's coming in the following years.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sometimes, but there are ethically better arguments for me to die than to survive so I tend to ignore these disgusting intrusive thoughts to live.

 

[Carlotta16]

I personally would much rather be happy and I don't actually want to CTB, but my life has become so incredibly bad that I can't imagine living and so I consider CTB.

I am wondering if there are many others in the same boat?

This is completely the way that I feel. My life is bad because of my actions though

 

[MsMaudlin]

Sometimes, but I genuinely can't see a way through the fuck up I have made of my life.
I think it's just in everyone's best interests if I end my life

❤

 

[Idontmatter]

I wish I could live but I'm giving into the suicidal thoughts. I'm exhausted and can't do it anymore. It's the best thing for me and the people around me who have to deal with me all the time.

 

[Cryptonite]

My wish to live is extremely high and would do anything to get my life back. However, I have a physical disease that makes it impossible.

 

[radicalfreedom]

Yes.

I want to live, but I don't want to live in the world that we've become. I've spent the last decade watching the world spiral from probably the peak of human freedom (though there was still a ton of misery) to a global triumph of oppression and brutality. In a different world, I'd be enthusiastic to live.

 

[demuic]

Nope, I would never want to live in this world, I would never be happy or even "content". If there was a different reality, one where human beings never evolved or the laws of thermodynamics were different, I might want to live. My life is not the only problem, although it doesn't help, life itself is the problem.