Discussion Do you have any, even if its just a little, hope for the new year?

[scary]

Not really. I'm giving myself until my birthday before trying anything tho, maybe my luck changes.

I was thinking that too, although my birthday's in the spring so I do have to wait a bit. If its still the same for me I was thinking about just buying some rope online. I guess on the bright side I have enough time to perfect my method?

 

[snowisfalling]

No, this year was off to a cursed start. I feel I have ruined it, symbolically, and that's enough for me. The end of the year held a small kernel of hope, but because I am a stupid piece of shit, I vanquished it.

 

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

My 2025 new years resolution was to ctb. Obviously failed. For 2026 I have the same goal. So I'm somewhat hopeful that I'll be able to kill myself.

 

[killawithme]

Like the title suggests, do you have any (if at all) hope for 2026? I personally don't think I do. 2025 has just been a bit of a nightmare for me, and I don't think '26 will change for the better personally, but what about you guys? I do hope at least some of you either find the best method for yourself or even recover and leave the site entirely

I feel like for me there isn't hope left. I had hope for a long time; nothing changed.

 

[menthol]

This year will be grand
I hope so
I hope I won't lose myself again

 

[Lilithium]

Not really. Every year for the past 4 years has gotten progressively worse, and I'm starting 2026 in what's potentially the lowest point of my life in almost every way. I don't see how things could improve, doesn't matter how much I try to help myself, there's always something that drags me down. I don't know that I want to go through this whole year only for it to be even worse.

 

[countingthedays1211]

I have some hope that I can find some things to enjoy. But my time is coming soon.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

I plan to go back to university for some structure, but I don't have high hopes.

 

[Unlucky777]

I have very high hopes for 2026. I've made many changes in my life over the past year that I'm starting to see my life turn around. It's has not been easy, and along the way I've wanted to CTB so many times. There are moments I still do but for the most part I'm back on an upward trajectory that I was on before my life collapsed.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

I have very high hopes for 2026. I've made many changes in my life over the past year that I'm starting to see my life turn around. It's has not been easy, and along the way I've wanted to CTB so many times. There are moments I still do but for the most part I'm back on an upward trajectory that I was on before my life collapsed.

I'm very happy for you. Gives me hope seeing posts like this.

 

[Unlucky777]

I'm very happy for you. Gives me hope seeing posts like this.

TY

I see you are going back to University, for structure. Yeah so am I. I'm 44 now and I'm going back to study something I love. But I need the structure of school to help me. I've learned as much as I could on my own and I definitely have a very solid foundation that I can build upon and having the structure of school will definitely help me.

What are you going back for?

Edit: I was at the lowest point in my life a year ago. Now 1 year later I can say I'm glad I failed at CTBing my last attempt

 

[Seneca65AD]

I have just enough hope to keep me from an immediate implementation of my CTB plan - at least for now. My usual operation is to find some hope, get out of the CTB mindset, then shit happens, thrusting me into a downward spiral, start thinking about my CTB plan, then some event occurs which makes me see hope again, and....rinse and repeat. It's been this way for the last 40 years or so.

 

[michaaaaaal]

I have this profound feeling that 2026 will be the worst year of my life and will end in a CTB. I don't know, I just feel it so strongly in my bones. I think I haven't hit the rock bottom yet but I'm close. A lot of horrific things will happen this year. I don't know why, but I've never felt so strongly that there's just nothing lying ahead.

I'm not sure I even feel any hope, maybe I do and that's why I'm still here and need to get rid of it immediately. I worry that's the thing that's blocking me. I don't know how can everything, every single, tiniest facet of life feel so profoundly bleak, yet... something stops me.

I'll be doing test runs for partial hanging tomorrow, hopefully I'll fuck up and go but I feel like it's not time yet, I'm still unsure.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

TY

I see you are going back to University, for structure. Yeah so am I. I'm 44 now and I'm going back to study something I love. But I need the structure of school to help me. I've learned as much as I could on my own and I definitely have a very solid foundation that I can build upon and having the structure of school will definitely help me.

What are you going back for?

Edit: I was at the lowest point in my life a year ago. Now 1 year later I can say I'm glad I failed at CTBing my last attempt

I'm studying wildlife biology! What are you studying? I finally got into my dream school last year, but dropped out a semester in due to bad mental health. Hope this time will be more successful.

 

[Unlucky777]

I'm studying wildlife biology! What are you studying? I finally got into my dream school last year, but dropped out a semester in due to bad mental health. Hope this time will be more successful.

That's so cool, the thought of working with animals is amazing to me. It's good that you took off and now you are going back in good mental health.

I'm an accountant (CPA) and I'm going back to study audio engineering and music production. It's my dream to work in music and I only realized that later in life. Could not do it last decade or so because I was on so many meds that ruined my cognitive functionality but now I'm off all meds and I'm in the best mental health I've been in my life. So yeah I'm in the right mind set to go back to school.

Are you going to implement any strategies that will help you to maintain your mental health so that you are as successful as possible? I'm doing a lot of that

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

That's so cool, the thought of working with animals is amazing to me. It's good that you took off and now you are going back in good mental health.

I'm an accountant (CPA) and I'm going back to study audio engineering and music production. It's my dream to work in music and I only realized that later in life. Could not do it last decade or so because I was on so many meds that ruined my cognitive functionality but now I'm off all meds and I'm in the best mental health I've been in my life. So yeah I'm in the right mind set to go back to school.

Are you going to implement any strategies that will help you to maintain your mental health so that you are as successful as possible? I'm doing a lot of that

The reason I'm worried is because I have ADHD and my vyvance prescription isn't working as good as it used to. It used to last me all day but now it lasts me 3 hours, even at a high dose. Now I have to find a new stimulant to help me. Without it, I'll fail school. :( But for now I'll use my vyvance until I find a better solution. I just need to actually go to class and not skip when I'm feeling depressed lol

 

[outrider567]

None

 

[Gabbi_Station]

Like the title suggests, do you have any (if at all) hope for 2026? I personally don't think I do. 2025 has just been a bit of a nightmare for me, and I don't think '26 will change for the better personally, but what about you guys? I do hope at least some of you either find the best method for yourself or even recover and leave the site entirely

It's been up and down the last few months.

Tried looking for apartments since I thought it would make my job tolerable and I desperately want socialization- I actually got accepted for one (really didn't think I would!) but I got scared because I basically only have a 600 safety net and 53% would be going to rent (not even including utilities!)… now I am just stuck in indecision and not sure what to do because I accepted it verbally (haven't signed the lease though!) and I just don't know if I have the energy to go back to barely spending money on food, living off instant coffee and cheap sardines, and constantly financially stressed… while commuting long hours and still hating the job I am working at…

The cheaper place I looked at smells like stale cigarettes, seems way less safe, and has zero amenities but just as long as commute to work.

The benefit is I would be separated from my family more and get some peace because this time I won't have roommates… (my last place had a bad landlord and also roommate situation)

Before this- dropped 300.00 on an online zoom class in a subject I was really interested in… but ultimately I kept getting into arguments with my family and I was too emotionally upset to attend the last class…and honestly the class wasn't what I had hoped for anyway.

Dropped ridiculous amounts on family gifts because I was excited…only to get in a fight with family and lectured my brother in law for "being mean to my abusive father"…So then I got mad and basically skipped out on Christmas and just had my own Christmas alone instead.

Took a new job in August 2025…realized immediately I made a mistake and applied all over in September and October… but by that time the market had dried up completely.

Honestly… I keep trying to "fix" my sadness…and the "fix" always somehow makes things worse and I end up disappointed. So now I am just giving up.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I have some (very little) hope that things will get better this year, but it's there for not-so-positive reasons. My general CTB deadline is coming closer soon, and as I count down the days, the reality of its aftermath really sinks in for me. For context, I'm going out using FSH in my house. Every time I look at my anchor point, I get reminded that my death will have consequences after the moment whether I like it or not

My friends will never get to see me again. My parents, despite our poor relationship, will have to deal with the corpse of their offspring who was supposed to live long after they died. My sibling will have to go through life knowing there was supposed to be two of us. The fragile relationship I've made with the people around me will forever have the finale of my CTB looming like a dark shadow. I won't be there to visit my lonely grandparents or cousins. I'll just be gone

I want to be gone. There's nothing more I want. Living while feeling like a burden weighs me down until I hope the earth cracks beneath me so that I can be swallowed whole and never seen again. However, knowing that my corpse will be found by loved ones and have to be buried with questions as to how I could do this makes my skin go cold; I feel a freezing shame envelop me, and my heart stops

I hope that things will get better because, if I do, I don't have to leave everyone behind. I'll be able to live and do the things I love (even if there's only a little). At this point, I'm clinging onto little reasons ("If I die, I won't be able to read any future chapters of X manga/manhwa", "If I die, I won't be able to go to X conventions") to live, but as I'm typing this, I feel like I'm rotting. I can't smile; my bones feel heavy; getting up and doing anything feels impossible; I haven't even been able to consistently maintain my hygiene (I feel gross); I feel like a husk—everything that makes a functional human has been cored out of me

I'm sorry that this became dark. I just feel consumed by my misery, like its wearing my skin

 

[badatparties]

I have very high hopes for 2026. I've made many changes in my life over the past year that I'm starting to see my life turn around. It's has not been easy, and along the way I've wanted to CTB so many times. There are moments I still do but for the most part I'm back on an upward trajectory that I was on before my life collapsed.

Glad to hear bro, we need good peeps in this world to stick around.

 

[shadow_sunset]

I wish.
Things will get even worse next year. I get that nasty feeling of dread just thinking of it.
Hopefully, I'll ctb before then.

I FELT THAT especially when you said the dread goddamit the dread.

 

[Mint Floss]

Not at all, it'll be the exact same as the the last two or three. The next one won't be any different either.

 

[Unlucky777]

The reason I'm worried is because I have ADHD and my vyvance prescription isn't working as good as it used to. It used to last me all day but now it lasts me 3 hours, even at a high dose. Now I have to find a new stimulant to help me. Without it, I'll fail school. :( But for now I'll use my vyvance until I find a better solution. I just need to actually go to class and not skip when I'm feeling depressed lol

I'm sorry to hear that, I can absolutely relate! I was on 70 MG of Vyvanse. In July 2024 I've decided to take myself off ALL meds I was taking. I've implemented so many strategies now that allow me to function without any meds. It's been an eye opening experience.

Each person is different but I think we all have the inherent ability in us to be able to develop coping strategies and strategies to help us survive without any meds. After years and years and years of searching and failing and doing every bit of research I can on my own, I've learned to do without anything and I would not have it any other way.

I hope you can figure things out soon. It's very difficult to stay motivated to do well in school when our mental health just isn't there but yeah I think with making adjustments to our diets, exercise, and sleep habits alone will stave off about half of mental health issues.

 

[VoidButterfly]

I literally have no hope. Everything is terrible, and will get worse.