hopefully my last post

[notevenhere]

i feel like getting out of bed and taking care of myself seems futile like whats the point of spending time money and effort on trying to exist when its so mediocre and you're constantly in chronic pain. i want to died yet i find myself caring for stuff that is so irrelevant when im dead like oh my bf is gonna be sad no bitch your bf wanted to dump u like two days ago what are u saying why can't i just lay in bed for days on end. i have to get up and actually take care of myself. i don't even like myself and i've made sure nobody likes me either so when i do go there's no resistance and yet here i still am alive for zero fucking reason


i think people are so cruel to be passive bc they don't wanna be seen as the bad person for saying then just die then bc they're selfish they'd rather let the person suffer for as long as they can hold onto until the person snaps and let's go at least with my best friend i didnt let her die alone, i was texting her i made sure she wasn't alone bc i understand the pain that came with it, and how much our brains are just wired to suffer and be impossible feel happiness and content or comfort. it's so taboo thar people always die alone and so sad and scared, i'd at least want someone to hold my hand when i pass but they find you so viscerally disgusting for being pro suicide but doesn't do anything to help you

 

[wannabeangel]

i feel this, chronic illness/pain and disability is why i also want to just end it

they're selfish they'd rather let the person suffer for as long as they can hold onto until the person snaps and let's go

THIS. i was told im selfish for wanting to die in the past, but isnt it more selfish to force me to stick around in pain? people put down dogs so easily for illnesses, why cant i be given that same kindness to remove my pain and not make me live a life of suffering????

im sorry you have to feel the same, pain is horrible.