Do you feel suicide is your destiny?

[Close_to_freedom]

It's interesting that my life just gets worse over time. I think I'm meant to kill myself. This might help me overcome SI.

 

[Maravillosa]

Yes, I often suspect that I am destined to kill myself someday. I hope God would be merciful to me.

 

[kovkay]

Yes, I don't see how I can avoid it. There's no way I'll live to old age.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Yes, I don't see how I can avoid it. There's no way I'll live to old age.

The only other deaths would be car accident, illness, murder, natural disaster, accident.

 

[PatheticGirl43]

I wouldn't personally use the word destiny, but yes, I feel it's inevitable for me. I just always have this sense of knowing that it's going to happen.

 

[HappyMstake]

Yes, I've been known that suicide is going to be the way I go. I can't fathom living to old age, tbh I didn't really think I was gonna make it to 20 when I was younger.

 

[Green Destiny]

For me i'm not much for "Destiny". I simply believe in choices and peoples right to know when it's their time to go.

 

[KiraComplex]

not personally. i think i betrayed my destiny for my want to die.

 

[aedric_artifact]

Oh yes. I've known for most of my life that suicide was going to be how I depart. At first I didn't think I was going to make it to high school. Then I didn't think I would make it past high school. Then I didn't think I would make it past college - and guess what? I won't!

 

[Raminiki]

Yes, knowing the likelihood of degrading mental faculties as I age, as well as the fact I have conditions that will never be cured and make me miserable and unable to function in society.

I also sometimes feel quite strongly that this has happened to me before. There was a suicide in the family in a different generation. It may be a reflection of that, but I also seem to have memories I shouldn't. Occam's Razor would suggest it's my imagination, but it does feel like a spiritual thing and I wrestle with it often. Either way, it affects me, therefore it is real in that context.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I feel like it's the direction my life is going in. Things aren't getting better that's for sure.

 

[FriendofDeath]

I don't know. I think about suicide a lot because of various episodes that have occurred throughout my life. My preference would be going in my sleep. But if things deteriorate enough, mentally, physically and emotionally, I will do something about it.

 

[Cutepoison]

I totally feel like it's my destiny; i know I'll die by suicide because i need that experience.

 

[DatSpecialKindOfCrzy]

I don't know. For the past few years I've been feeling I'm drifting through a void. I don't think I'd mind dying much but I wonder if I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. I honestly don't see myself living to an old age... the future when I think about it is bleak and dark. I'm hardly drink alcohol these days because I think if I start, I'll never be able to stop. Same thing with smoking.
I want a child, I think that's the only thing that can lift this cloud from my head but if it doesn't then how can I do that to a child? place myself as its father... I don't know if I'll go by suicide and honestly, I don't much care. All I want is for it to stop hurting so badly.

 

[I screwed up]

Way my life is turning out ... I guess suicide is the only way to end it.

 

[ygornimoy]

I'll be 50 on July 16th. No way I'll live past 55. I am surprised I have gotten this far.

I have been trying to change my life for the last twenty four years, and everything remains the same.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

Herman Hesse talks about people, and the narrator of Steppenwolf, as 'Suicides' - people who are predestined to kill themselves.
The Steppenwolf doesn't take his life, as far as we know, but the option is always there and always has been.
I've always described myself as a 'Suicide', the razor is always there and I know I'll one day use it

 

[Pryras]

Living to old age or otherwise being in a position where I wouldn't be able to make the choice in CTB on my terms is terrifying to me. I like knowing I have control in some aspect in my life, even if that's suicide

 

[SpottedPanda]

I wouldn't say destiny, because destiny implies a belief in God, or conscious governing aspects to existence. Is it inevitable? With the amount of years presented to me, right now, I'd say it's pretty much inevitable.

 

[Claudia]

Absolutely. The only thing that terrifies me about death is not being in control of it. Knowing I can leave when I want to gives me peace.

 

[wonderworld]

i've been depressed since i was 12, been in mental health services for 9 years and no antidepressant works so I've come to peace with the fact i know i will die by suicide at some point in my life.

 

[ugly_loser2008]

yeah im destined to kill myself. gotta end the cycle.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

It definitely inevitable

 

[Soul]

I've known I'll kill myself since I was a child, even before I learned that children of suicides are likely to commit suicide too. Like others have said, I don't use the term "destiny"; it's just a fact. Or a fact-in-waiting if you will.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Herman Hesse talks about people, and the narrator of Steppenwolf, as 'Suicides' - people who are predestined to kill themselves.
The Steppenwolf doesn't take his life, as far as we know, but the option is always there and always has been.
I've always described myself as a 'Suicide', the razor is always there and I know I'll one day use it

I remember that book. He ends up meeting a girl just before he completely falls apart.

 

[Soul]

I remember that book. He ends up meeting a girl just before he completely falls apart.

Ahh yeah: Meeting a girl saves the day again.

 

[ItsAllTooLate]

I think so. If I don't die by an accidental death because of my stupidity, it will be by my own hand. I lack intelligence and have brain deficits which keep me from leading a fulfilling life. I don't know which path is worse.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I definitely feel like I'm destined to CTB at some point. Even if I make it to old age. Once my quality of life reaches a certain threshold then I'm out.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yes. Everyday I think about it. But hope I die before attempting (accidental or natural). That will leave my family with less pain.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

Yes, I feel like I've been running away from the Bus my whole life. I try my hardest to make things work. Give myself another chance but still end up staring at the Bus stop and wanting to get on. I cannot see any other way. This life has lost all its shine and things never get better. It's time to Catch that Bus soon!