Do you ever think about how your family would feel?

[lifecouldbedream]

Ever since I attempted to CTB a couple of weeks ago I've been having horrible thoughts about my family finding me dead. The panic and complete despair they would feel haunts me. Despite still wanting to CTB I cant get it out of my head.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

One of the few reasons for me not to kill myself.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is not my concern as I will not be alive at that point. Yes, they would be sad but it would be selfish of them to expect me to suffer for decades. I have the right to exit this world at a time of my choosing, it is my life, my decision. I hope to never be found by anyone.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

It is not my concern as I will not be alive at that point. Yes, they would be sad but it would be selfish of them to expect me to suffer for decades. I have the right to exit this world at a time of my choosing, it is my life, my decision. I hope to never be found by anyone.

At the very least I want to avoid my family seeing my body. Is there a way to schedule a 911 call a couple of hours in the future?

 

[deathisnear]

It's the only reason I haven't done it years ago, but my time to ctb is coming. I'm doing my best to subtly prepare them and I hope to write a note sometime soon to let them know it's okay and it's not their fault. I don't know if it will help, but it's all I can do, i can't deal with this anymore. I need my peace.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

All the time. Like others here though, I feel it's my choice and there is no WAY I am going to continue to deteriorate mentally and stay alive just so people don't feel bad. What about how I feel?

 

[Chockles]

I was like that until I ended up living with them. Now they can see how much I'm suffering They respect my need to die. Of course they are devastated but it's also impossible for them to cope seeing me get worse every day before their eyes. I wish I hadn't been worried about them so much or id have CTB much sooner. Now I'm in torturous agony completely bed ridden months on end & hope to end things next week assuming my method arrives in the mail. I am still worried about how elderly parents will cope finding me dead & the aftermath but I know I cannot go on any longer even tho I never really wanted to die until a couple years ago now things have become desperate.

 

[Hotsackage]

Only reason I'm still here I would end up taking the lot of them with me

 

[Ch92921]

Absolutly not!

 

[luten]

unlike many, i have discussed this with my family members on too many occasions. Because I went through so much in my life, for so many decades, they simply think that i wont give-up. A person can only take so much, it is not about wanting to giveup, it is about not having options left. My father who is rather wealthy is also unwilling to help me, and says I have too many medical problems, he does not want to hear about it, as it causes too much stress in his life.

If my mother were alive, then it would've been different, because she was the only family member that I had a good relationship with.

 

[Manaaja]

My mom is the most bipolar or whatever person ever. She would cry a lot for half an hour, then be perfectly happy and fine for days, then suddenly cry and be sad for a minute, then be completely okay for the rest of her life. That's what happened with the dog. It's like she is some sort of robot who sometimes gets signals from an alien spaceship "cry now for five minutes" then she will cry for five minutes, and suddenly be as if nothing bad ever happened. She changes emotions in mere seconds and has no memory of past emotions. Or maybe it's just part of her narcissism.

If my death brings suffering and pain to them, the better. They murdered my dog. After I die, they'll be completely alone, and maybe then they will realize that they shouldn't have murdered the dog if they didn't want to be alone!

 

[KayKay]

Yea. All the time. Everyday 100%. It's the only reason I'm still here.

Not for my "birth family" - parents, siblings etc because they won't really give a fuck. Although they'll pretend to be distressed, and make it all about them and their martyrdom and suffering, as they always do. And give our about me making their life difficult again as I always do. Sigh.

But yes, for my "chosen" family - my husband and children who I love and continue to suffer on for, to save them the grief of my death.

 

[TriggerHappy]

unlike many, i have discussed this with my family members on too many occasions. Because I went through so much in my life, for so many decades, they simply think that i wont give-up. A person can only take so much, it is not about wanting to giveup, it is about not having options left. My father who is rather wealthy is also unwilling to help me, and says I have too many medical problems, he does not want to hear about it, as it causes too much stress in his life.

If my mother were alive, then it would've been different, because she was the only family member that I had a good relationship with.

Know the feeling :: for me its inevitable, just gotta sort out logistics :: I don't have close family to hold onto - infact today i realised I'm waiting /hoping 4this Hollywood conversation moment where we'd (my sister &i) are ok with it and id go off into the wilderness with my meds after a warm hug. Never gonna happen... im gonna just leave out the backdoor one sad lonely morning say goodbye to my dogs and leave... ugh.

 

[Helios]

I think about how my sister would feel. Its the biggest reason I haven't CTB yet. She would be devastated, and I don't expect her to understand or even forgive me for leaving her. I hope that when I do finally leave, she can be okay someday.

 

[Circles]

I only care how my mom will feel. Other than her l literally don't give a fuck how it affects my sister, brother, or grandfather or my supposed extended family that my mother tells me that supposedly 'loves' me. And honestly part of the reason why I'm staying alive a little longer is that I'm hoping that my grandfather will die so that motherfucker doesn't go to my funeral as he has a habit of ruining funerals with his rude ass behavior. Fuck my family.

 

[Mitty]

Yes, the thought brings me so much pain. I spend everyday thinking of ways that I can mitigate their suffering.

 

[Trueform]

My family would suffer their entire life and my father would probably kill himself. But I will not feel any remorse and I can't feel any remorse because I'm dead laying 5 feet under the ground getting eaten by maggots.
who cares about humans, we are all just a species of many and eventually we will die and our parents will be sad anyways. That's how nature works.

 

[Maaizr]

my family and extended family will be absolutely broken, i think about this all the time but it doesn't change my mind at all - of course my actions will have a huge lasting impact but like, so? i'm fucking dead and its over for me and doesnt matter anyway lmao i couldn't feel bad even if i wanted to and i do actually feel bad but it is what it is

 

[ClownMe]

I would if I actually had a good relationship with them.

 

[blueclover_.]

yeah they would be sad but i don't care lmao

my family and extended family will be absolutely broken, i think about this all the time but it doesn't change my mind at all - of course my actions will have a huge lasting impact but like, so? i'm fucking dead and its over for me and doesnt matter anyway lmao i couldn't feel bad even if i wanted to and i do actually feel bad but it is what it is

i love you. let's be friends

 

[Dagon]

My friends and family would probably be devastated, but I have faith that they will eventually learn to cope and move on...or at least that's what I tell myself to lessen the guilt. Even if they never move on, does that mean I have to endure this hellish existence for the next 30+ years? I love them, but there needs to be a limit to what I'd do for them.

 

[MeltedJello]

I know that my family will be sad, but they've never thought about how I feel. In a way, I've died already & I do not wish to suffer the more years to come. Even when I die, life keeps moving forward. They will have to eventually choose to move on or not. It is not my problem if they aren't strong enough to handle pain.

 

[disillusionment]

Yes especially now that my sister just died, I cant stop thinking about how they would feel and what they would go through. Even though my family caused me pain and suffering, I know they didnt do it on purpose and I really dont want to hurt them. But at the same timeI dont want to keep suffering like this. I didnt ask to be born. I wish there was another option between 1) Hurt everyone I love by taking my life and 2) Suffer an enormous amount of pain, lose more people that I love, only to die one day anyway. Ive tried to find another option but my life just seems to be to full of suffering that I cant escape from.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

My parents are the only reason I'm still here. With each passing day, I'm less and less afraid to CTB.

 

[Seaghost]

Not much

 

[yive]

i don't care

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

My family are all [literally] dead and corpses are incapable of feeling emotion, so no.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes. It can cause feelings of guilt sometimes. Then my mother has one of her usual mood swings after I disagree with her, and then I no longer feel bad about wanting to die.

 

[WFJ74]

I do worry about that, yes. The thing i worry about most is my wife or my mother having to identify my body when its found... thats got to be traumatic :(

 

[TooConscious]

They'd be overjoyed, a son committing suicide garners a whole day of Facebook sympathy.