Story Do I want to feel miserable?

[przeciwwymiotne]

I feel like I'm addicted to feeling miserable and to the relief it brings. When I'm in the depths of sadness I get to not care about anything, I can just lay in my bed and relax. Browse the wen without feeling like I'm wasting time. And ignore everything and everyone, especially myself and my thoughts.On the 'good days' I'm anxious af, trying to get my life together. Being sad, whining and complaining are my favourite things in the world. I mean not really.... But it's hard to find balance. I am unable to relax like a normal person: I either function like a robot and do everything on point with my plan or lay in bed all day and eat like a pig. How do I learn to relax?

 

[timf]

Not caring can be a little like alcohol or drug use. Being numb can be a relief. However, for the long haul, you may wish to experiment with a portion of your life that you direct and control in such a way as to bring some enjoyment and satisfaction. You may not want to start with any big changes. However, if you can begin to see yourself taking control and getting good results even on a small scale, it can be something to build on.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Not caring can be a little like alcohol or drug use. Being numb can be a relief. However, for the long haul, you may wish to experiment with a portion of your life that you direct and control in such a way as to bring some enjoyment and satisfaction. You may not want to start with any big changes. However, if you can begin to see yourself taking control and getting good results even on a small scale, it can be something to build on.

Could you give a few examples of which part of my life I could control so that ot brings enjoyment? And I don't want to sound pessimistic but, build torwards what? I fear that I'll put the effort in and just get bitten in the ass by my behaviour. That's what has happened when I got into fitness and dieting. I destroyed my back and malnutritioned my body.

 

[freedompass]

In some ways it definitely is easier to be sad and depressed, stay in bed and whine on the internet. Especially when that has been a habit, it has the comfort of familiarity. It sounds like you went too much to the opposite extreme with trying to 'improve'. While I understand the temptation to do that it is better in the long run to make small changes over time. The hardest part is deciding to give life a shot and sticking with it. I struggle with laziness and procrastination myself, I mean it's extremely common.

 

[Firegirl]

Sometimes being sad/disinterested feels addictive, which is why it's often such a difficult spiral to get out of. I would say to find balance you need to start small. Instead of trying to drastically change your life overnight, start with little habits each day.

There's this video on youtube that really helped me. It sounds corny at first but after a while it really worked for me. It talks about the power of 5 mins per day

 

[Hollowillow]

I feel like I'm addicted to feeling miserable and to the relief it brings. When I'm in the depths of sadness I get to not care about anything, I can just lay in my bed and relax. Browse the wen without feeling like I'm wasting time. And ignore everything and everyone, especially myself and my thoughts.On the 'good days' I'm anxious af, trying to get my life together. Being sad, whining and complaining are my favourite things in the world. I mean not really.... But it's hard to find balance. I am unable to relax like a normal person: I either function like a robot and do everything on point with my plan or lay in bed all day and eat like a pig. How do I learn to relax?

Pace yourself? Eat healthy?

I used to be an anorexic workaholic. So I had to pig out in bed to survive
I resent peolle pressuring me to be perfectly positive. Being real instead of a faker is less stressful

 

[theboy]

masochism

 

[Hollowillow]

masochism

Maybe not if they don't self harm?

A sadistic friend kept shaming my sadness pressuring me to be perfectly positive. I panicked & almost hanged myself. Another friend agreed to see me uf I was sad and I had a good time. She's not calling me but... I felt freer being true to my real emotions.

 

[Unhirable]

Yes you hate yourself.

Self-harm happens in like a million different forms.

I also want to feel miserable and sad sometimes.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Sometimes being sad/disinterested feels addictive, which is why it's often such a difficult spiral to get out of. I would say to find balance you need to start small. Instead of trying to drastically change your life overnight, start with little habits each day.

There's this video on youtube that really helped me. It sounds corny at first but after a while it really worked for me. It talks about the power of 5 mins per day

The video is not loading for me, could you send it through pm?