Do I confess that I don’t love him? (Part question part rant)

[lonergirl_26]

In my note should I tell my boyfriend that I don't love him or carry on playing my part even in death?

Before I explain the backstory I want to say that I know I'm a bad person and what I'm doing is mean.
I met him when we were 14 not long after we became friends I dropped out of school. He was the only person who continued to talk to me. Around 15 he started making it very clear he had a crush on me, making sexual comments continuously asking me out etc. At 16 I had enough of the comments and "will you be my girlfriend" on the daily/weekly basis so I told him the truth as to why I couldn't be with him. He said he understood but it didn't take long for him to start whining about how much he hates that I couldn't date him. The sexual comments continued. At 18 with the whining, disgusting comments and around 7 more "will you be my girlfriend" I finally gave in and agreed. The main reason being that he's my only friend and I wanted to shut him up.
We don't have actual conversations it's all sexual (from him) I can say something as simple as "my work is busy today" and he will make it sexual. I tired to tell him but he just says "I'm a teenage boy so this is all I think about". It makes me feel gross. We are 19 now he makes comments that severely triggers my eating disorder, I don't think he does it on purpose but it's like he always has to do one better than me. To make things worse he knows about my issues but he dismisses them. The vulgar comments are getting worse. He's not even into anything normal either.
I know this is the only way that anyone could love me or think they love me. I've tried to love him but I can't.
I don't want to hurt him but I also don't want to die being something I'm not.

 

[roommate]

That's quite some situation.
Telling the full truth is going to hurt, but it's probably only fair.
I don't see another way.

Maybe others do.
Or u can always tell that your feelings changed, but idk if lying is fair.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Honestly, you should have broken up with him a long time ago. He sounds like he sucks. He was never your friend, he just viewed you as a sex object. Who cares about hurting his feelings when he clearly doesn't give a shit about you and your boundaries?

 

[Reflection]

This guy does NOT love you nor give a fuck about you. The only thing you'll be hurting is his selfish ego.

 

[itbelikethat]

This guys a piece of shit. Dont worry about him at all, he doesnt deserve it.

hell maybe things will improve for you if you drop that shithead. If you can't surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, then your better off alone.

fuck it, drop him, give it a while and see how you feel. You owe it to yourself.

 

[zappynomore]

That is not a healthy relationship its best to just get rid of him. He is not worth it. Really does not seem like he cares about you at all. The fact you are here asking this question I think on some level means you know its best to drop him.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

The main reason being that he's my only friend and I wanted to shut him up.

Women are extraordinarily strange creatures.

The vulgar comments are getting worse.

Let him know more firmly that you really dislike the vulgar comments and it's threatening your relationship with him, friend or otherwise.

But yes. God please let him know you don't love him.

 

[relapse]

Dump this loser he sounds gross. Even if he starts bitching and tries to make you look like a bad person for this, isn't it better than continuing living a lie with someone you hate and who makes you feel repulsed? I assure you he's not going to be the only person who's able to love you.

 

[moonstroll]

From what you've said, it sounds like he is completely self involved and oblivious to himself. You would be doing yourself, and him, a favour by telling him exactly how he has made you feel. Write it down in a letter, and hold it for a week or so, so you can really think about what you want to say, if you don't feel confident enough to say it all in person.

Please, please, do not consider CTB as a result of this person. There are many, many more men out there who will love you and make you feel good about yourself. It might take a while to find them, or it could be next month, but it can ALWAYS happen. Life can really surprise you sometimes, in the most amazing way