• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
B

bellaisdonewithlife

Student
Jan 29, 2026
121
29F. I'm thinking about flying down to the States for probably around 2 months to take part in a brain study in a top clinic in this area of research. On one hand they might be able to help me with some of my brain issues and my quality of life could improve to a degree, but on the other hand I have some worse issues that seem to be genetic, ones I've had my whole life even as a child, that they probably can't do anything about. I even struggled to eat food I really like today. I have no dopamine or pleasure from anything and shit it was hard to even eat a favourite food of mine. What kind of life is this. Ugh.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Slark
Slark

Slark

Student
Apr 30, 2023
194
Have you tried methylphenidate medication? It won't solve all your problems, but it might help with dopamine. I recently started taking it and it's helping, but as I said, it doesn't solve everything. I still want to kill myself.
 
B

bellaisdonewithlife

Student
Jan 29, 2026
121
Have you tried methylphenidate medication? It won't solve all your problems, but it might help with dopamine. I recently started taking it and it's helping, but as I said, it doesn't solve everything. I still want to kill myself.
No, I tried other serotonin meds and dopamine meds from that one, but they all gave me severe insomnia and I had to cut them right away. The only one I lasted a month on is Wellbutrin, but it didn't make any difference for me.

I feel like my pleasure circuit is non-existent. I just have so many problems from anhedonia to emotional numbness to no interest in anything human to what may be considered severe dissociation. Nothing has ever worked. I'm so damn stuck.

The Canadian medical system failed me hard for years. I doubt other countries would help me much more, but at least in clinics like that one in the US they are making breakthroughs over time and discovering some new treatments. It might be worth trying before throwing in the towel.
 
O

ovaltinee99

Student
Nov 9, 2020
130
A clinical study has its own goals and if you go in thinking it will solve your issues, you might just get disappointed. However they can help depending on what kind of study it is - by giving you information about your brain or by letting you try treatment that is not available to the wider public.
 
B

bellaisdonewithlife

Student
Jan 29, 2026
121
A clinical study has its own goals and if you go in thinking it will solve your issues, you might just get disappointed. However they can help depending on what kind of study it is - by giving you information about your brain or by letting you try treatment that is not available to the wider public.
I don't think it'll help much. I think I'll be lucky to have improvement in some symptoms and yes I may also find out some info about my brain. Some things I'm stuck with. And those are the things I desperately wish I could change out of everything.
 
R

rainy.tears

Member
Apr 11, 2026
33
what is the clinical study? would it be a treatment for the anhedonia?
 

Similar threads