Confused, heartbroken, with suspected bpd.

[Kezrina]

Hi Im new here, I live in Spain, and a couple of months ago I had it all. Had a little family, amazing life, I guy that loved me, we had out ups and downs but that was because of me, because of my suspected bpd....I never got help quickly enough and he's now had enough, my world had clasped, I'm now single, no job, no money and living back at my parents house. I love him so much that I cant watch him move on, I cant watch him be happy with somebody else, plus I have a daughter I cant watch her be happy with a step mum, I'm not confident in myself, to know that my daughter will still love me, still want to spend time with me. I want to end it all, I'd rather that than watch him play happy families with my daughter. If I leave w much effect will I have on y daughter....I don't want to ruin her life because of my pain, but this pain hurts too much.....so confused

 

[St. Jimmy]

Hello there, and welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry for what you're going through. My heart hurts and goes out to you so much. That pain of losing the one you love is terrible. Then the guilt of leaving your child only exacerbates it all. I hope your time here will be able to help you work through your confusion and perhaps find some means of catharsis.

Please feel free to come to us should you need to vent or talk. There are lot of wonderful members here who are very insightful and know just what to say when you're feeling low.

 

[Kezrina]

Hello there, and welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry for what you're going through. My heart hurts and goes out to you so much. That pain of losing the one you love is terrible. Then the guilt of leaving your child only exacerbates it all. I hope your time here will be able to help you work through your confusion and perhaps find some means of catharsis.

Please feel free to come to us should you need to vent or talk. There are lot of wonderful members here who are very insightful and know just what to say when you're feeling low.

Thank you that's kind of you.

 

[ssaaahmo]

Hi Im new here, I live in Spain, and a couple of months ago I had it all. Had a little family, amazing life, I guy that loved me, we had out ups and downs but that was because of me, because of my suspected bpd....I never got help quickly enough and he's now had enough, my world had clasped, I'm now single, no job, no money and living back at my parents house. I love him so much that I cant watch him move on, I cant watch him be happy with somebody else, plus I have a daughter I cant watch her be happy with a step mum, I'm not confident in myself, to know that my daughter will still love me, still want to spend time with me. I want to end it all, I'd rather that than watch him play happy families with my daughter. If I leave w much effect will I have on y daughter....I don't want to ruin her life because of my pain, but this pain hurts too much.....so confused

Your inability to stay in this world doesn't mean you don't love your daughter
It just means you can't go on anymore and leaving her behind is part of the process