I cant i cant i cant i cant
I finally was getting better i finally thought i wws making progress, the mental hospital rehected ne 3 times but i got put on zoloft and itnwas manageble. And my best friend and favorite person left me but thats fine no big deal i have to get over it. Just another person i rujned. And then now i fucked everyything up again. I made an onlike friend (well call them R) and R seemed lkke they rrally lkked me they seemed similar and we really bknded. And then i open my big fat stuoid fuckijg ugly mputh and sent him into a panic attack, and npw hes goijg to leave and im going to be alone agaij. With noone loving me and me being compltely alone. I rrally was stuoid enougb to think for once someone wojld love me or not even love ne jusg sgay. But now im goimg to be alone again, im going yo relapde after almosg a year clean, and i thknk im going ti sttempt soon. Noje of tjis is getting better i cant do this i cant fuckimg do this, i also think i moght hsve cancer so im kinda joping tjatll kill me first. I rewllt want to di3. I want to starve myself ajf make myself bleed inwant everyone to watch me suffer so that i can feel loke i was worth anything at all. Even tjoufb im not. Aby advicr on jow to attempt when youre around a lot of people ajd cant rrally od or dp physocal injuries? I judg csnt anymore i rrwlly cany im abojt to run awsy anf throw myself in front of a fucking csr its so bad tje pain hurtd so bad i judt want to be frre of tjid stioid ficking world i fucking hate it. I hate myself i hate everytbing please god get me oit of here.
I finally was getting better i finally thought i wws making progress, the mental hospital rehected ne 3 times but i got put on zoloft and itnwas manageble. And my best friend and favorite person left me but thats fine no big deal i have to get over it. Just another person i rujned. And then now i fucked everyything up again. I made an onlike friend (well call them R) and R seemed lkke they rrally lkked me they seemed similar and we really bknded. And then i open my big fat stuoid fuckijg ugly mputh and sent him into a panic attack, and npw hes goijg to leave and im going to be alone agaij. With noone loving me and me being compltely alone. I rrally was stuoid enougb to think for once someone wojld love me or not even love ne jusg sgay. But now im goimg to be alone again, im going yo relapde after almosg a year clean, and i thknk im going ti sttempt soon. Noje of tjis is getting better i cant do this i cant fuckimg do this, i also think i moght hsve cancer so im kinda joping tjatll kill me first. I rewllt want to di3. I want to starve myself ajf make myself bleed inwant everyone to watch me suffer so that i can feel loke i was worth anything at all. Even tjoufb im not. Aby advicr on jow to attempt when youre around a lot of people ajd cant rrally od or dp physocal injuries? I judg csnt anymore i rrwlly cany im abojt to run awsy anf throw myself in front of a fucking csr its so bad tje pain hurtd so bad i judt want to be frre of tjid stioid ficking world i fucking hate it. I hate myself i hate everytbing please god get me oit of here.
