Venting can people with bpd have friends? how hard is it? i am really trying.

[mariannelle]

I dont have any story or cool thing to say im sorry. I am upset today because I feel completely alone. I kind of have a few friends and I have some family, but I always have to make sure I never get to close or dependent on any of them, which makes them all very distant. If I let any too close they get into my bpd loop and I really, really ruin the relationship. I am reaching out to other people with bpd. how do you have friends? i want friends really badly, I really do, I will do whatever it takes, please give me some advice. I have never felt so lonely.
glory glory. I love every single one of you, I want all of you at my wedding. - Mari

 

[theboy]

Sure!

 

[FoxSauce]

Well depends really.

I can get imfatuated with someone rather quickly and well spral i guess.

Not in a creepy way but wanting to chaet em up non stop or thinking there a ry nice person.


Sometimes can be hit or cold with them which well can break it off like to the point of being awkward but I digress. I tend to be secretive or overshare.


Ik it can be hard for people with BPD to maintain relationships even break the unhealthy ones.

Advice- try to maintain the relationships as best you can and if the other person doesnt want to be with you then oh well bye (ofc easier said than done) or is abusive or toxic leave it.

Thats all i can say ofc take it with a pinch of salt I wont lie sometimes i dont follow my own advice.

But i hope this helps :>

 

[Persik]

I will support FoxSauce's answer, adding a little: just be yourself. Not in the sense that you don't need to fight BPD, but in the sense that you don't need to change yourself against your nature (character, temperament, dreams, etc.). If people don't want to be with you, you need to learn and realize that it would be wiser to let go of those who don't want to hold on to you. Indeed, it is difficult to make friends with the mental disorders we have, but this does not mean that it is impossible. You know, in general, it is very difficult for an "ordinary" person to make friends, so you are not alone with this problem. If you search and do not give up, you will definitely find, but this is always a path, and you do not know when that very person will come. I believe in you, and you try not to despair)
And one more thing. It will help you a lot to build and understand your boundaries: what is another person allowed to do in relation to me? Why do I allow this? What can this lead to? Why do I need this, and this, and that.... And so on. Once you build boundaries, you will be more confident in yourself, since you know the rules of your game. It will be much easier for you, knowing what you want and why exactly you want it.
I'm not sure you understood what I wrote correctly, as I'm writing through a translator. But if you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Have a nice day

 

[StupidCat]

I have an online BPD friend and she's kinda crazy but I liker her. Sometimes she deletes our group chats and starts crying.

 

[The Actual Devil]

I don't have BPD, but my general advice for anyone on here looking to make friends is to try to find a local support group of some sort. Anything that fits you even remotely: groups for depression, BPD, anxiety, abuse survivors, addiction, or general mental health groups.

What better place to find people who can relate to you than people who have lived through what you have? They're usually non-committal, they don't make you talk until you're ready, and they're free or at least cheap.

And hey, I'm proud of you for asking for help.

 

[Meimi18]

It's hard for sure, and work needs to be done on both sides to maintain a good relationship
Dunno, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy was useful, and from the other side, the other person needed an enormous amount of patient you might not find in a lot of people
It's a high velocity disorder, I don't think a lot of people can keep up, you can only keep trying and do your best, both of you