Venting Broken Heart

[Caterpillar]

Or rather breaking. Do any of you love someone, but hold incredible feelings of pain even if that person is not abusive? I can't make heads or tails of my BPD, Depression, other trauma related logic, and my relationship issues. My heart is breaking, i hoped my life would have been a lot more satisfying after I left my abusive home and got into what i desired and who i desired. But Im beggining to think that i had less pain when alone, which is horrible, because i really wanted to put him into my future. I was able to enjoy the people that i enjoy from a distance thinking I'm making no difference on other's lives. Its a sad place, maybe but it's also a place where you can't disappoint or hurt anyone. Now, it's pain pain pain. I'd rather be dead than have to face the agony. I feel desperate. And alone. So alone. Why can I feel again????? Why can't I just be in love in peace??????

 

[abyss]

I know what you mean.

 

[Caterpillar]

I know what you mean.

Thank you friend

 

[Coffeebean77]

Really sorry you're going through this. It sounds incredibly challenging.

 

[Preparingforpeace]

Or rather breaking. Do any of you love someone, but hold incredible feelings of pain even if that person is not abusive? I can't make heads or tails of my BPD, Depression, other trauma related logic, and my relationship issues. My heart is breaking, i hoped my life would have been a lot more satisfying after I left my abusive home and got into what i desired and who i desired. But Im beggining to think that i had less pain when alone, which is horrible, because i really wanted to put him into my future. I was able to enjoy the people that i enjoy from a distance thinking I'm making no difference on other's lives. Its a sad place, maybe but it's also a place where you can't disappoint or hurt anyone. Now, it's pain pain pain. I'd rather be dead than have to face the agony. I feel desperate. And alone. So alone. Why can I feel again????? Why can't I just be in love in peace??????

I know exactly how you feel. More than you could possibly know.
If you'd like, I'd be happy to talk privately and share stories.

 

[waitingforrest]

I feel this all as well. The countless questions with no answers, feelings that don't make sense. Emotions all becoming a ambiguous smear, a colorful mess. Being with people causes pain, not being with people causes pain.

A heart broken until all there left is pain and a question of what the defintion of love is when love has only been pain in disguse.

 

[help56]

Can someone help me. I am in emotional pain lost a lot and I have tried therapy but my loss and heartbreak I can't cope . I can't breath . Not sure what I am asking for but i
Just need to disssapear