Being held captive.

[Harleyyy]

Hello all you precious people.
i just wanted to share my feelings right now, i think i might never want to live anymore. I mean, even in situations one might consider "happy" i still am thinking of how peaceful it will be if I didn't simply exist. I used to be full of life, but due to some circumstances i just lost all of it and it's been more than a year of me feeling this way.
i just don't know what to do now. And sadly, as most of you may know, killing yourself is very difficult too. So many failed attempts, so much agony and it is too painful emotionally, physically and mentally.
I don't think medications remove the internal pain and misery that you have
I am lost now. Either i be happy or even okay or i wanna be dead. please. this in between phase sucks.
People misconceive this as me not being grateful but i am! I am grateful for being born into a prosperous family, a healthy good body but BEING GRATEFUL DOES NOT ERADICATE THESE FEELINGS.
i ask this question about a thousand times a day: why me. I tried to do well for everyone. Then why the fuck am i here. Why.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

When existence is so painful, non-existence seems like a much better option, no matter how scary. I understand. We are here for you and will support you in whatever way you choose.

You mention specific circumstances have you feeling this way right now. What is your hope for those circumstances changing?

 

[Harleyyy]

When existence is so painful, non-existence seems like a much better option, no matter how scary. I understand. We are here for you and will support you in whatever way you choose.

You mention specific circumstances have you feeling this way right now. What is your hope for those circumstances changing?

To be honest, there is no or very little hope. I feel stuck here.