I feel like I can't CTB even if my life becomes legitimately unbearable (possible in the near future) because im too worried about my parents. While we don't have a good relationship I know they would still be affected if I died. He might have been just saying shit and being dramatic but my dad once told me he'd kill himself too if I did. Sometimes this makes me feel very guilty. At the same time I also think I might not have much choice because I don't want to live a horrible life just to make some family members happy. How am I supposed to get past these feelings?
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