Mistergeburt
Member
- Jul 22, 2026
- 8
Hey, everytime I think about suicide methods, I imagine how they'd feel and I get dizzy and like "weak" (like my muscles stop working) to the point where I would probably collapse if I continue to think about it. I know, I'm on the wrong for that type of shit, but I still want to ctb, I just have a strong physical reaction to most methods. It's the same thing with seeing blood - I feel dizzy, disgusted and am on the verge of losing consciousness (it feels like - I've never actually lost it). Even with harmless methods (such as SN), I get this physical reaction.
This reaction is the strongest with painful and/or pressuring methods such as cutting (non-method rather) or hanging. It's often also because of the knowledge of what it truly does. For example knowing that SN slowly stops your blood from taking oxygen and coloring your blood makes me uncomfortable and triggers the physical reaction. If I don't think about it too hard, I don't have that reaction tho, so I just need to not imagine it. My mind is apparently defending against such methods by making me feel uncomfortable.
The only method where I don't have that reaction, is CO, altough it also just stops my blood from taking oxygen.
Can anyone relate? And is there any particular reason behind it? Regardless is there a way to build resistance or do I just have to live with it?
This reaction is the strongest with painful and/or pressuring methods such as cutting (non-method rather) or hanging. It's often also because of the knowledge of what it truly does. For example knowing that SN slowly stops your blood from taking oxygen and coloring your blood makes me uncomfortable and triggers the physical reaction. If I don't think about it too hard, I don't have that reaction tho, so I just need to not imagine it. My mind is apparently defending against such methods by making me feel uncomfortable.
The only method where I don't have that reaction, is CO, altough it also just stops my blood from taking oxygen.
Can anyone relate? And is there any particular reason behind it? Regardless is there a way to build resistance or do I just have to live with it?
