Discussion Are you having a bad year?

[MyShadow]

This past year has probably been the worst one I've ever experienced. Every single day has been a struggle.

What has your experience with the past year been like?

 

[Kari0499]

It's been that way since the mid 2010s for me...

 

[lavenderlilylies]

Not as bad as i was anticipating actually. I find myself feeling numb more than anything

 

[xchilipeppers]

I'm having a bad life tbh but this year the thought of ctb is really catching up with me. I'm just exhausted and want to be with my mom.

 

[Liebestod]

I'm having a bad existence bro. #2026willbemylastyear

 

[mysticatedwine]

yeah, i think so. i feel like all the thing i do wrong, or feel wrong, or be wrong... it's all culminated and merged into a big turn of events that is punishing me for it all. kind of like in a video game, where the final boss reuses gameplay mechanics from all of the game. except i'm no video game protagonist and i'm not fit for this.

2026 will be my last year

 

[rozeske]

I feel you, I'm having more of a bad life tbh but yes it's been a worest couple of years, I don't even have words to describe how much of an emotional torment I've been in. Fortunately it looks like it's about to be over soon.

 

[witchcraft]

Sorry to hear OP.

And to answer your question, yes. I have been having bad years since I graduated in '23.

Got the wrong degree out of, you know, "only" ten thousand different ones to choose from. But I don't think there is a right degree for me anyway; I hate everything. I hate working, and so I hate this life.

No non wage-slave future. Not attractive, even all the years in my late teens and early 20s when I honestly felt good and took care of myself. I will never own anything, like a nice car and house even if I did enslave myself. All of my hobbies are being ruined by stupid people. The world is being ruined by stupid people. I hate AI. No help, no answers, no way out to be found anywhere; I have looked far and wide, high and low, nothing.

Nowadays I have no motivation. Can't focus, can't read. Feel like I am getting dumber. Can't write, creativity has seemingly abandoned me. Can barely enjoy video games. Tired, irritable, just done.

I digress. Will CTB when parents pass. Hopefully things turn around for you, at least.

 

[R-7]

Oh just the worst, Shadow.

I have never thought about catching the bus (nor did I know the term) as much as I have in 2025 and every day it seems more likely.

 

[Pluto]

 

[DoAnythingMore]

Yes. The last 2 years have been bad but this year has definitely taken the cake. I can't stand this shit life anymore.

 

[sanction]

Damn. I can totally relate. 2025 been the absolute worst year for me so far

Non-stop struggle and endless stress. Lost count how many times I thought of dying this year. Easily thousands of times

Hope I won't be here for 2026, but it's so damn hard to do it, without access to easier methods

All methods we have access to, feels so overwhelming to proceed with, making us stuck in this hell forever

Fuckkkkk. This sucks

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing is always really bad to me, I'll always see existence as the most terrible, torturous abomination that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I just wish I never suffered more than anything.

I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed and I always suffer so much from being so cruelly denied the option to just peacefully cease existing so I can be at peace from all suffering in this existence I always saw as a mistake that just leads to decay and death anyway, as long as I exist I really will just hope to never suffer again, I find it so deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible and I suffer simply from being burdened with this existence.

 

[Kitsune_BCN]

I was screwed before, but this year the real spiral has started

 

[ScholarOfDespair]

Probably the worst year so far for me.

 

[Cauliflour]

yes

 

[westerly_merlin]

2024 and 2025 have been the low water mark for me.

2006 was really bad and I seriously considered CTB then, but the past 19 months have been hellish. I have had one determined attempt to CTB this year which ended up with me dealing with the local MH crisis teams which were as effective as a teapot made from chocolate.

Hopefully things have turned a corner, but I have ruined so many good relationships over the past 18 months I don't see what my future might be.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Absolutely. For some reason, though, I have a tendency to romanticize periods of my life where I wanted to ctb every day. Like, 2022-2024 was the lowest point of my mental health, and I still look more than fondly upon that time period.

 

[Ligottian]

The past year was probably my worst.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Yes. If things don't change, my plan was to CTB early next year.

 

[itsgone2]

To be honest it started off great. I've always been suicidal but I thought I had fixed things. I actually was happy. But then my company being sold triggered things. First, it's traumatic in itself, but then I remembered all the mistakes I've made. Family members I've hurt. Friend and coworkers too but who cares, how could I betray my family. Things just keep spiraling. Now some other bad things have popped up and you just wonder, what's the point of all this? I've been committed before and I'm actually worse now. I just know how to avoid that situation.

 

[MissAbyss]

This year was my downfall, my third biggest collapse in life; physically, mentally and even spiritually. Regardless of the fact that things are going a little better than at the beginning of this year, there is no spark of hope or motivation left. Even if I could pull myself up again for one more time it would be pointless anyway. I have no desires or goals left. So, I genuine hope to be gone before the end of this year.

 

[MyShadow]

This year was my downfall, my third biggest collapse in life; physically, mentally and even spiritually. Regardless of the fact that things are going a little better than at the beginning of this year, there is no spark of hope or motivation left. Even if I could pull myself up again for one more time it would be pointless anyway. I have no desires or goals left. So, I genuine hope to be gone before the end of this year.

I empathize with this. The end of 2024 was tumultuous for me. Everything in my life had fallen apart and I was struggling with so much. Yet, at the beginning of 2025 things were starting to look much better. Then in May, it was like the bottom just fell out and I began this freefall spiral that does not seem to end.

The hardest part is not knowing if I can recover.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Definitely. This year has been exceptionally shitty.
I've had other terrible years, but I'd at least have good things happen in-between. This year, though? Constant hardship after hardship after hardship, and eventually you think it might be the end of it, but then no, more hardship yet again. I am exhausted and have no hope.

 

[MyShadow]

Definitely. This year has been exceptionally shitty.
I've had other terrible years, but I'd at least have good things happen in-between. This year, though? Constant hardship after hardship after hardship, and eventually you think it might be the end of it, but then no, more hardship yet again. I am exhausted and have no hope.

This year in particular has hit hard and yes, it's been relentless with back to back hardships and painful experiences. The isolation has been the worst.
I hope that we can both find support and find our way through all of this difficulty.

 

[Freedombus'25]

Damnn this yr seems to have been hard for a lot of people

This yr has definitely been one of the worst but I kinda knew it'd be going into the yr. God New yrs was so depressing.

Maybe thats why im so terrified of 2026

I think the worst part is trying to change but starting at a very buried, dark, heavy etc place.

If I was doing this with a more clean? Slate then it'd be easier but nah. So yeah. Tryna live but barly hanging on. I'm almost angry at anyone that thinks I'll be ok. Its obnoxious in a way like they see more than I do of my capacity or just I dunno. It doesn't feel good anymore

For me its a 50/50 on whether I make an suicide attempts before the yr ends. Who knows

 

[grandmotherboxing]

Pretty good actually
First half sucked but now ive come to appreciate most of what has happened just because it led to a good trajectory

the thoughts wont ever go away unless i clean up every mess that has been left by myself (i will be honest, until recently i blamed myself when in reality it was to a much lesser extent) and others (mostly my family, i hate my mother the most)

now that a good course has been set for me healthwise, financewise etc. I believe I can dig myself out of it, if others can't idk but i'm gonna try and help at least. I've heard this year has been shit for everyone but idk, i'd like to think that i could improve someone's life. the people who post on this forum are some of the most authentic i've seen, probably because they don't feel they have much to lose

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

This past year has probably been the worst one I've ever experienced. Every single day has been a struggle.

What has your experience with the past year been like?

Yes since 2019 every year was bad

 

[Cansado_Depressivo]

This past year has probably been the worst one I've ever experienced. Every single day has been a struggle.

What has your experience with the past year been like?

It's been terrible. 2024 was a really tough year. I was hoping 2025 would be better, but it hasn't been. I lost my mother to Alzheimer's, and now my father has also been diagnosed with it. I've been diagnosed with severe depression and burnout syndrome. I have financial issues, other health problems. I'm taking a lot of medication. I'm miserable at my job. I have no hope for the future. It's just sadness on top of sadness.

 

[MyShadow]

It's been terrible. 2024 was a really tough year. I was hoping 2025 would be better, but it hasn't been. I lost my mother to Alzheimer's, and now my father has also been diagnosed with it. I've been diagnosed with severe depression and burnout syndrome. I have financial issues, other health problems. I'm taking a lot of medication. I'm miserable at my job. I have no hope for the future. It's just sadness on top of sadness.

We have a lot in common and I am sorry that you are going through all of this too.

Damnn this yr seems to have been hard for a lot of people

This yr has definitely been one of the worst but I kinda knew it'd be going into the yr. God New yrs was so depressing.

Maybe thats why im so terrified of 2026

I think the worst part is trying to change but starting at a very buried, dark, heavy etc place.

If I was doing this with a more clean? Slate then it'd be easier but nah. So yeah. Tryna live but barly hanging on. I'm almost angry at anyone that thinks I'll be ok. Its obnoxious in a way like they see more than I do of my capacity or just I dunno. It doesn't feel good anymore

For me its a 50/50 on whether I make an suicide attempts before the yr ends. Who knows

I used to be more optimistic about the new year but now I have more fear and worry, especially being in the US. It's like this country is determined to crush its own economy and take us with it. It's sad that we have to consider suicide because billionaires don't have enough houses and private jets.