Discussion Are people becoming less empathetic?

[SpencerSees]

This is something I've been thinking about a lot. I grow frustrated with people more often as they fail to be considerate of my feelings at all. I know that I am overly sensitive but this feels more real.
I don't see people interested in what I have to say, it almost feels like everyone only cares for themselves. And obviously, I do too, but I thought we were meant to put up a front to seem like we give a fuck about others. You're supposed to act interested otherwise no one will like you !! Why are people changing the rules now, it's been like this for 20 years.
It almost seems like they want it to be a competition, see who has it harder. I'm not above being petty and CBT-ing to prove a point, but I wish we turned to each other with empathy when they open up to us.

Anyone else experiencing this ?

 

[Jadeith]

That's my observation as well. People got better at voicing their problems which is good because bottling things up can kill you quite effectively but forgot how to listen, how to say even simplest words of compassion. To a point that "i'm here for you", "i see you" or "i'm listening, you got my full attention" rises to heroic levels.
Basic compassion died in most of the people. I mean there are still some deeply empathic individuals out there but they seem to become endangered species. Endangered because let's be honest - every confession, every burden shared, takes toll on a listener, especially on those who actually give a damn. And with less people willing to listen and more people sharing their problems this toll might just be too much.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I do think empathy or rather displaying sympathy and compassion are more often discouraged in people. It might be compounded stress, general desensitisation on all sides and a culture that is much more focused on getting money and pulling one over on the next shmuck.

It might be an empathy burnout also, as there are too many causes to care about and too many things that you have to be aware of. It's harder to believe that life on earth has never been better if you only hear about it getting worse or still sucking ass.

 

[InevitableDeath]

Definitely, because

people are allowed little time and no spaces to share
digital has demeaned niche interests that used to connect people
people are told to only connect when its financially advantageous
society has become more savage and cruel
creativity has been devalued
people are strugging with cost of living
social media has people faking themselves
society's impossible perfectionist demands
digital's flattering to deceive - chatbots etc
no way of living cheap and being different
society demands profit over people
you have no worth unless its financial
austism and other mindblind conditions
closing of communal spaces
capitalist selfishness and dumbing down

Am old enough to have seen pre-digital and it was a lot better.
Capitalism has fucked humanity.
And its not getting better anytime soon.

 

[itsgone2]

Hard to be empathetic when you're drowning. So many struggling now. Especially with jobs. Hard to find time for others when facing financial ruin

 

[DeadManLiving]

Haven't noticed but could be for some. Conditions are not survivable and so that may set some people off every now and then. Humans are highly social by design and empathy is an encoded feature of behavior for cohesion. When the socioeconomic environment is unsurvivable then the breakdown of cohesion together with lack of self regulation results in a tragic rupture, with surges in suicides as a precursor that often follows more harsh and cruel tragic outcomes.

 

[Phil_UK]

This is something I've been thinking about a lot. I grow frustrated with people more often as they fail to be considerate of my feelings at all. I know that I am overly sensitive but this feels more real.
I don't see people interested in what I have to say, it almost feels like everyone only cares for themselves. And obviously, I do too, but I thought we were meant to put up a front to seem like we give a fuck about others. You're supposed to act interested otherwise no one will like you !! Why are people changing the rules now, it's been like this for 20 years.
It almost seems like they want it to be a competition, see who has it harder. I'm not above being petty and CBT-ing to prove a point, but I wish we turned to each other with empathy when they open up to us.

Anyone else experiencing this ?

I have noticed this, and I am happy to be proved wrong, but I am going to blame AI.
No, not just because I am a grumpy old git...
I am a grumpy old git by the way, but that makes no difference
I think it because so many people are used to saying 'alexa turn on the lights' or asking the car to dial a contact... There is no politeness at etiquette when talking to an AI... And I think that lack of 'manners' is over spilling in to real life.

I'm defence of my comments, can I just point out 'grumpy','old' and 'git'.

 

[Jadeith]

I am a grumpy old git

Not sure about git part since english is not my prime language and that word does not ring any bells but i too can be considered old and i'm definitely grumpy af.

I am going to blame AI.

I dare to say that this phenomenon appeared long before AI in any shape or form appeared on the scene. On a side note - some AI creators specifically asked users to drop the politeness as all the thank yous and such require additional computing power to respond. Besides, politeness while might be accompanied by compassion and empathy, is not the same thing. One can be polite and well mannered, yet still cold heartened asshole.
If i were to put a blame on sth, i'd go with some of InevitableDeath points. Nowadays you're either useful, preferably financially or you are out. Sharing problems aka placing burden on someone is not welcomed as many people not only have their share of overwhelming troubles but also no will to waste their energy on even hearing about yours. And those who still have some empathy might want to go into hiding, crushed under sheer amount of people trauma dumping them.

 

[Phil_UK]

I think grumpy a/f classes as being a git
Nice to meet you

 

[Siamese Believe]

Definitely, but I don't think people have ever been all that empathetic, just look at history. Also even on here I've had people tell me that my reason for wanting to ctb is dumb and easily solvable.

 

[Jadeith]

I don't think people have ever been all that empathetic

I'd wager that it all depends where you live and what is your personal experience. We have no statistical data on how much people were emphatic at what period of time, only what we witnessed. In times when i could call myself young and grumpy, i've met many gold heartened people. Could even say that they are one of the reasons i've made this far. But, maybe it's just luck on my part.

 

[PureEndless]

Everything's getting more expensive, more dull, harder, scarier, more unstable. Everyone's feeling crushed.

And when everyone's feeling crushed, and the media encourages it, we all turn on each other. Everyone blames everyone.

Everyone of course blames the ultra-wealthy which makes the most sense, but somehow, everyone puts more anger and shame towards the homeless or struggling. I don't understand it. When humanity does this, it disgusts me.

I just hate to see it. We can be so much better as humans but the ugliness is just showing.

 

[Abort!]

Definitely, but I don't think people have ever been all that empathetic, just look at history. Also even on here I've had people tell me that my reason for wanting to ctb is dumb and easily solvable.

Nobody should have to hear that their pain is completely invalid, for any reason. That's just straight up rotten and cruel. The way certain forms of invalidation get swept under the rug on these kinds of forums really grinds on me. For what it's worth, I'm sorry you had to experience that. You deserved better.

 

[InevitableDeath]

I'd wager that it all depends where you live and what is your personal experience. We have no statistical data on how much people were emphatic at what period of time, only what we witnessed. In times when i could call myself young and grumpy, i've met many gold heartened people. Could even say that they are one of the reasons i've made this far. But, maybe it's just luck on my part.

you're right. Its all a bit subjective and harder when you're older and grumpier.

Digital is perhaps removing a skill that people used to have, which was sharing the load with others.

And cost of living/extremist capitalism is taking all people's time and energy, making them more miserable and leaving little to spare for others.

As PureEndless above says, the scapegoating of homeless (and immigrants and disabled etc) is really disgusting.

idk, spose can try to help a few people here for whatever that's worth before the bus arrives, but its all so throwaway.

 

[BillyBob]

The people you have grown up around are getting older and are changing so that could be a reason.
Next is there is lots for everyone to deal with now days from money, food, housing etc and it is very stressful dealing with all of that.
And if they have a child ontop then that makes life harder.

Will admit I have lost alot of empathy now because I am just tired of all the daily BS that seems to be happing and how I was treated in the past.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I've certainly become less empathetic after being abandoned over and over. Being told to help others and do the right thing when nobody helped me when I needed it made me bitter. No way am I going to be suckered into catering to everyone else anymore, let people call me a bad person as if anyone else is any better.

The economy and political landscape is also leading to a fear-based society. Security and trust in the system is low.

 

[violetforever]

i agree with u 100%. at least on here mostly everyone is likeminded and empathetic to one another

 

[Daphne]

Media fear-mongering desensitizes people

 

[Jadeith]

Digital is perhaps removing a skill that people used to have, which was sharing the load with others.

This. I like this one as an explanation. Social interactions are dead or if not dead then reduced to bare minimum.

 

[InevitableDeath]

This. I like this one as an explanation. Social interactions are dead or if not dead then reduced to bare minimum.

yeah and taken together with the removal of cheap places to socialise - bars, cafes, gigs and so on - makes it even worse. Two hours in a pub sharing the load what's the price of that? The only one laughing is the owner.

 

[inkmage333]

As someone who's experienced low if not nonexistent empathy since childhood (idek how, maybe I was born with it?), I do agree that it feels weird that suddenly it's okay to blatantly not give a fuck about others when I'd been previously forced to act like I did, indeed, give a fuck otherwise people wouldn't like me. Where was this earlier in my life? It would've saved me so much trouble growing up!

Anyways, I feel like it's both "people are being less empathetic" (because I have indeed heard that from people who have lived longer than I have and therefore have been able to properly witness the change of behavior between generations!) and "people have always been like this, we just never noticed because we were too young to notice" (something I've also heard from a lot of people). Not to sound like one of those broken-record professionals, but in this case I think it just depends on perspective, honestly.

 

[Jadeith]

yeah and taken together with the removal of cheap places to socialise

Also stripped of any responsibility or accountability. The moment one feels bored or even slightly inconvenienced - disconnect, pretend no service coverage or dead battery, unfollow, ban, ghost and such.

 

[Susannah]

I recently heard a well-known researcher say that the society we live in is so obsessed with efficiency and high speed that it has led to changes in which hemisphere of the brain people use the most.

We use the left hemisphere to a much greater extent than before. It focuses on specific parts rather than the whole. Systematic analysis. Verbal communication, reading, and writing. A preference for structure and predictability.

The right hemisphere, on the other hand, is concerned with the whole and with patterns. Intuition, imagination, and artistic abilities. Emotions, body language, rhythm, and music.

Lots of LoveS

 

[SanagiMezamete]

To a point that "i'm here for you", "i see you" or "i'm listening, you got my full attention" rises to heroic levels.

I have observed this as well. People usually want to throw a quick fix or reductive platitudes since they don't want to or aren't able to actually listen and just provide empathy. In truth it can be a very difficult thing to do, so I feel like I can't blame people for withdrawing for the sake of their own mental health. Especially when everyone is under so much financial stress nowadays, most can barely keep their head above the water let alone help others. As many have already noted in this thread.

Capitalism has fucked humanity.

Growth at the expense of all else, even humanity itself. It's like an economic virus or something. Once one country starts doing it everyone else has to join in to keep up or else be totally dominated and forced into it anyways. It's a race to the bottom. Ugh, I hate living in this economic system. I guess a lot of other ones aren't nice either but still.

Definitely, but I don't think people have ever been all that empathetic, just look at history. Also even on here I've had people tell me that my reason for wanting to ctb is dumb and easily solvable.

People are so quick to put others down and assert superiority. Human history is just a series of examples of that. I guess it makes sense that even a place like SaSu would have instances with how many suffering and confused people are here, as well as many users having wildly different experiences; but it's still hurtful and unnecessary. I'm sorry you experienced that, it wasn't right.

The economy and political landscape is also leading to a fear-based society. Security and trust in the system is low.

The fear and mistrust is palpable. It's so uncomfortable. I hope I'm gone before this hits rock bottom because it seems like people are only becoming more and more atomized. I don't know how we get out of this mess.