Anyone else just keep postponing ctb?

[anonymousperson]

Yes just hoping and trying to will myself to die randomly in my sleep like so many do. It isn't fair they get to when they prob would have choose to live. I am envious of people who randomly die in sleep as a fairly young person.

 

[nooseknot]

Imho there are basically two main reasons for postponing: lack of courage or decisiveness (one of them or both together) which clearly hints at not being ready for it yet...or too much unfinished business for people who value a clean closure as it were

 

[kingfool316]

yeah i know this pain. last few attempts i postponed until i did it, and failed more than once. It's as if you just wait for that breaking point and when you get there, you just go for it. but when you fail, your mind changes

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Not exactly postponing, more like waiting for everything to line up properly.

 

[InTheAbyss]

I keep hesitating every time I go to try. I fast and do all that but when it comes time to start taking the initial pills I hesitate and eventually break my fast. Then repeat the same thing the next time I have a day to try. I don't know why for sure that it keeps happening. Other than SI and being afraid to fail and being alone in doing it. But each time I get a little closer to going through with it. Have set up and put away the materials many times already.

 

[other-ghost]

I'm past my "due date" to ctb. I keep postponing it bc im a pussy and i always lie to myself that there's some hope (there's none)

 

[fmbrisk]

In middle school and high school I said I would kill myself after I graduated since I didn't want the school to make any broadcast of my death (granted i didn't really have a way to kms at the time anyways tho). Currently in college, and I think I'll probably kms if my financial aid ever goes away. Honestly it would probably be better for me to just end it now, I have such terrible time managment and social skills that I'll never get a job or internship. Killing myself feels kind of inevitable, unfortunately

 

[bsb601]

Yeah, I'm too much of a pussy right now. I'm scared of going to Hell.

I honestly believe God will forgive me. He knows our pain and our hearts.

 

[LittleNelson]

A lot of us are in the same situation. The truth is CTB is a very scary thing. We don't know what happens when we die - it could all be worse. As awful as being poor and depressed is at least I know what to expect when I wake up every day. The fact that you can't do it means you're not ready yet.

 

[Subhumano]

Its what Ive been doing for the last 15 years

 

[divinemistress36]

Ya Im scared of failing and ending up as a vegetable

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

If my parents leave a 24-year-old girl with some privacy or go away for a while, I can't even take a shit or anything. I'm desperate and constantly under excessive control. I honestly don't know what else to say. I can't even breathe. Needless to say, you want CTB out of here if this is what you're after... I miss when I was studying abroad and living on my own; there was freedom. But I told them many times that I wanted to kill myself, and that's how it ended.

Ya Im scared of failing and ending up as a vegetable

the same and more with controlling parents