Help Anyone else hurt themselves just to feel something?

[Surai]

when the good is so hard to find I hurt myself just to feel something even if its torture to my mind and body.

 

[TheHolySword]

physical self harm scares me, I can't bring myself to do anything like that. maybe a little ironic since i'm going to ctb but it's too much for me. the most i ever do is turn the shower heat up all the way and stand in scalding water, but it's not to feel something. it's to take away feeling

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I've been getting those urges lately too but I've been fighting them and trying to distract myself. I've hurt myself once before but i didn't like and it scares me. I'm confused why I feel this way.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

been feeling this way too. def relate in hurting physically just to feel something aside from despair

 

[CatLvr]

I don't any longer but I went through a period of time when I cut for quite a while. My ink covers my scars, for the most part. Every once in a while I am tempted to start again but so far I am able to distract myself. I hope I don't start back up ever again. I was in a REALLY bad place when that was going on. I wasn't doing anything but drinking and researching how to ctb. That time period was also when I made several attempts but failed each time. Obviously. My failures were due to me being naive and uneducated on how to crb effectively, and not for lack of wanting to die. It was a very dark time in my life.

 

[Promised Heaven]

Stopped cutting years ago, don't like my scars...

I kinda strangle myself just to enjoy feeling slightly dizzy. I want to feel like I'm escaping reality for a little bit as my ears ring. On really bad days I punch the side of my head repeatedly. If you count weed as hurting myself, I do that too. I just want to feel something because it gives me relief from the chaos stirring in my head. It gives me control of myself. I want autonomy over my body that I don't feel is mine. I know it's mine...but it just gets difficult to feel okay in it.

 

[delacs]

A bit afraid of most pain, unable to hurt myself (I know, ironic for CTB, but hence looking for a peaceful method).

When I want to feel something, I draw a bath and submerge myself to have a sort of sens dep/ambient moment. I don't prolong it or hold my breath past the point of comfort, it's merely just to be sort of relieved from normal sensory experiences.

 

[dyingslowly]

when the good is so hard to find I hurt myself just to feel something even if its torture to my mind and body.

I think we like rats try to explore things bit by bit until we become comfortable with it, I used to put a noose around my neck to become comfortable with it and such. It was good for practice, but I am never truly left alone so I was never able to carry out anything.

 

[theboy]

yea...

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I know my pain is getting worse when I self-harm to feel something instead of self-harming because of the way I feel. December is a difficult time for me and so many others, and it becomes easy to fall into a daily routine of hurting.