Discussion Do you hurt yourself in other ways and hope that you die from that instead?

[ghostingyou]

it's my birthday today and i decided to hop on here to talk to you guys :)

just like the title, have you been hurting yourself in the hopes that you would eventually die from that instead of straight up attempting, OD-ing, etc?

like for me, i have asthma and an ED (bulimia). throughout my 27 years of living, i would smoke/vape, purge, self harm, and i'd do anything else that would hurt me. my thought process is that maybe i would've screwed up my lungs so badly that i would die from an asthma attack or any other lung disease lol. and so if i DID die, it wouldn't look like suicide to anyone. it hasn't worked so far, but i'll keep sabotaging my body until it can't go on anymore.

 

[meowpuppy]

i'm currently unintentionally starving myself due to lack of appetite, and i hope i just die from this.

 

[tonicer]

I can't harm my body because i hate pain. I hate when i am sick or otherwise impeded. I guess it stems from shortly before i was born. I was born with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. My suicide will be quick and violent. Probably jumping from a skyscraper or decapitation by train.

 

[oniichan]

it's my birthday today and i decided to hop on here to talk to you guys :)

just like the title, have you been hurting yourself in the hopes that you would eventually die from that instead of straight up attempting, OD-ing, etc?

like for me, i have asthma and an ED (bulimia). throughout my 27 years of living, i would smoke/vape, purge, self harm, and i'd do anything else that would hurt me. my thought process is that maybe i would've screwed up my lungs so badly that i would die from an asthma attack or any other lung disease lol. and so if i DID die, it wouldn't look like suicide to anyone. it hasn't worked so far, but i'll keep sabotaging my body until it can't go on anymore.

I do aswell. I have anorexia, which I am currently "allowing" to just get worse and worse. I hope at times that the heart palpatations or something will kill me before I personally can.. not to mention my self harm.

 

[SweetChariot]

i'm currently unintentionally starving myself due to lack of appetite, and i hope i just die from this.

Same, it's been so bad i literally can't and won't eat anything
i had to chase down a bite of bread with water earlier because the appetite just isn't there anymore

 

[ghostingyou]

i'm currently unintentionally starving myself due to lack of appetite, and i hope i just die from this.

I do aswell. I have anorexia, which I am currently "allowing" to just get worse and worse. I hope at times that the heart palpatations or something will kill me before I personally can.. not to mention my self harm.

Same, it's been so bad i literally can't and won't eat anything
i had to chase down a bite of bread with water earlier because the appetite just isn't there anymore

i relate to you guys :( too depressed to eat or take care of myself, and when i do eat, i purge or work it off. hugs for y'all

 

[Forveleth]

There is a greater chance of things like this merely leading to a degradation in quality of life rather than death. I would rather be depressed and healthy than depressed with some chronic health condition because I smoke or do drugs or something. Other than cutting occasionally I actually try to take care of myself.

 

[ghostingyou]

There is a greater chance of things like this merely leading to a degradation in quality of life rather than death. I would rather be depressed and healthy than depressed with some chronic health condition because I smoke or do drugs or something. Other than cutting occasionally I actually try to take care of myself.

can i ask how do you push yourself to take care of yourself even when you're depressed? i find it so difficult to do anything and i let myself deteriorate when i'm depressed :/

 

[supremacyofdeath]

Ever since I saw that post about carcinogen-maxing that's pretty much what I've been doing. Drinking and mixing random script drugs, ignoring health problems and hoping they progress into more serious conditions. I'm gonna start drinking antifreeze soon or just spritzing it into my food.

 

[Forveleth]

can i ask how do you push yourself to take care of yourself even when you're depressed? i find it so difficult to do anything and i let myself deteriorate when i'm depressed :/

Because I did it once and it sucks. I just have to keep reminding myself that putting in the effort now keeps things from getting worse down the road.

 

[limenlux]

There is a greater chance of things like this merely leading to a degradation in quality of life rather than death. I would rather be depressed and healthy than depressed with some chronic health condition because I smoke or do drugs or something. Other than cutting occasionally I actually try to take care of myself.

I echo this sentiment. My health started slipping years ago from both depression and an undiagnosed neurological issue, but I did nothing to resist the decline and I am currently suffering the consequences. Not taking care of yourself, to whatever extent you're able, will make everything harder later regardless of which path you choose.

 

[Awesomefoid67]

i don't do stuff with like that specific purpose usually but part of me hopes my self harm and like restrictive eating end up killing me