Anyone else feel guilty for being depressed/suicidal?

[CameronFrye]

I feel so guilty for being depressed/suicidal. Compared to most people that ever lived my life is pretty great. I can get any kind of food I want by going to the grocery store, I live in a relatively safe era in a climate controlled house, I'm not required to go to go to war (yet), and modern medicine and sanitation makes most diseases not of concern. And in present day I don't have to worry about being killed and have to fight for my life in a country like Ukraine. Also a lot of people have dealt with significant traumas that were out of their control and have felt pain worse than I can imagine. And some people have life-altering medical conditions like cancer that cause immense physical pain. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself for feeling the way I do because any problems I have are self-inflicted and ultimately my fault. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Starryeyes]

Yea cos I have people who need me

 

[brnggundottxt]

Maybe I would if I was in your position. But I live in a shithole and am surrounded by liars. The police and politicians are all corrupt and justice can be bought and sold. You can be killed and for the right price the perpetrator can walk completely free. The only way to be mildly successful here is to get into business with drug dealers. If you're corrupt enough you can be completely above the law. Even if I finish school I'd be paid in scraps and I'm probably on some blacklist by now.

I don't think you should blame yourself for being broken or being badgered by this ghost. You can have a lot going for you and still be in immense pain.

 

[GameOver52]

I am just tired of life. Anxiety, depression and guilt rule my life. Just don't have much fight left in me. Mental instability has haunted me most of my life. Been down in the dumps and fought my way back a few times. I just don't have the faith, belief and confidence in myself to do it again. Because I know that eventually I will just end up back in the same state that I'm in now.

Life for me has just become one miserable grind. Rarely even find joy or happiness anymore in a couple of my hobbies like I used to. Every year the world around us gets worse and worse. Mankind vary rarely learns from the past. So you get war mongers like fuckin' Putin taking lives instead of finding a peaceful solution.
Because capitalistic societies make profit the #1 rule in their lives, our planet is being destroyed. And mankind has been on a 150+ year path to self destruction. But yet, the need for stock markets and gigantic corporations to make profits #1 priority , I don't see any of the eco-friendly solutions becoming a long term success. Even the electric vehicles require massive mining operations for rare metals and minerals that destroy environments.

I have got my SN, Reglan(metoclopramide) and Tagamet.
I have a couple of options for partial hanging as a secondary choice.

About the only thing that keeps me going is I have a good buddy that relies on me to help him out with aspects of his life. But that is getting close to running its course, then it is game over for sure. He is the only reason that I am not homeless and dead already. My rent money that I pay him each month has helped him out and gives me a place to sleep. A few times I paid him several months in advance.
While grateful and thankful for the things I have done for him, I can tell he is growing weary of my frequent anxiety/depression bouts that I go through.
....So I do feel extremely guilty that I would not be there anymore to help him out, because I have been there for him for years and years. But he does have a brother and sister 'n law that can help out and take over the duties that I help out with. And he also has a cousin that shares ownership of their house.

I don't have a wife or any kids that I would be leaving behind, so that is one thing I do not have to feel guilty about when it is time for me to CTB.

Every night I lay down to sleep, I hope for my heart to just give out and that would be the end of it. I just want my life force to be released and I want my existence to be over.

 

[whatevs]

I don't. Must be the narcissist in me but I'm pretty sure you must be suffering more than most people if you consider self-removal. So no guilt about that. It's obvious to me that most people in a "poor country" are happier than me (not to mention possibly happier than those in developed countries).

 

[ameliacecelia]

My friends and family agreed to support me if i decided I needed to exit due to my illness. I tried to set a standard of when that time would be and they all refused. I wanted to pass peacefully with the support of my loved ones, but they would rather I continue to deteriorate than deal with my passing. I'm upset at being ill. I'm upset that I can't tell anyone of my plans because they will stop me. I feel guilty that I can't be here for them longer as a functional person. I feel guilty that my parents will have to bury me, as my father used to say that a parent should never have to bury their child. I feel guilty and angry about a lot of the situation.

 

[Nolan96]

I don't feel like my problems are my own fault, but I still feel guilty in the sense that maybe I'm just some abomination who never should have existed in the first place.

 

[lunarflower]

I feel incredible guilt for these feelings. I know eventually I'll give in to them though and ctb. I wish something would just come along and make the choice for me though. I dont want anyone to blame themselves for my choice. I just want peace.

 

[myopybyproxy]

all the time

 

[Huntfish34]

I feel guilty about it quite Often... But I usually force that thought into the far back reaches of my mind because I know that is basically life on life's terms and Everyone is different. I Absolutely Fckn hate it,. But I know life is far from fair or perfect.

So I'm currently just trudging along in the muck and mud,. Dealing with All the BS that life entails..... Until I get that certain reason or excuse.. Then I'll see myself out and pull the damn trigger.

Thoughts and prayers to you All -.

 

[thereisthemist]

deep inside, very, guilty of the quote on quote, selfishness

 

[LookingforAnswers]

I feel so guilty for being depressed/suicidal. Compared to most people that ever lived my life is pretty great. I can get any kind of food I want by going to the grocery store, I live in a relatively safe era in a climate controlled house, I'm not required to go to go to war (yet), and modern medicine and sanitation makes most diseases not of concern. And in present day I don't have to worry about being killed and have to fight for my life in a country like Ukraine. Also a lot of people have dealt with significant traumas that were out of their control and have felt pain worse than I can imagine. And some people have life-altering medical conditions like cancer that cause immense physical pain. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself for feeling the way I do because any problems I have are self-inflicted and ultimately my fault. Does anyone else feel this way?

Completely. I have a priveleged life just got tripped up by stress or chemical imbalance but feel this everyday

 

[Shu]

I feel so guilty for being depressed/suicidal. Compared to most people that ever lived my life is pretty great. I can get any kind of food I want by going to the grocery store, I live in a relatively safe era in a climate controlled house, I'm not required to go to go to war (yet), and modern medicine and sanitation makes most diseases not of concern. And in present day I don't have to worry about being killed and have to fight for my life in a country like Ukraine. Also a lot of people have dealt with significant traumas that were out of their control and have felt pain worse than I can imagine. And some people have life-altering medical conditions like cancer that cause immense physical pain. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself for feeling the way I do because any problems I have are self-inflicted and ultimately my fault. Does anyone else feel this way?

100%
Yeah my parents already seem to be suffering in the flesh and killing myself is going to cause more.