Discussion anyone else also stuck in a similar emotional loop?

[froggyboya]

one of the only reason i haven't CTB yet is because i'm always stuck in this loop of feeling extremely hopeless, and then randomly feeling just okay, which then makes me have doubts about CTB.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I used to feel this way too, yet have finally reached the bottom of the pit of despair.
Absolutely nothing or no-one on this dreadful planet could ever convince me to live.
I have already died inside and just need to kill this flesh prison body that binds my existence to this realm of suffering.
You will know for sure when this feeling finally hits you, and what a truly liberating feeling it is.