Anyone considered suicide after breakup?

[AbandonedGirl]

Don't get me wrong , I was broken before and he broke up with me for being suicidal but the breakup has made me just loose all hope. People tell me im childish and nobody gets me and tells me to just move on but the problem is not only breakup but everything in my life (I have depression and BPD). Please tell me im not alone.

 

[Sherri]

Yes I did that, and now have scars for the rest of my life. And I do regret doing this over someone who didn't deserve one drop of my blood. You are not alone hun. Hugs.

 

[FluffyDove]

Considered it, but didn't take it any further than that. Please don't let a breakup be your only reason, it hurts right now but I promise you, its temporary. Suicide is permanent. The person who hurt you isn't worth it, you'll see it in time x

 

[Lady black]

I will never understand why people are leaving their suicidal partners

 

[Intotheflames]

I will never understand why people are leaving their suicidal partners

As much as I see where this comes from, I have to disagree. They have a right to have a way out when they feel suffocated as much as we do. It's just theirs is leaving us behind while ours is leaving this world behind.

 

[AbandonedGirl]

I will never understand why people are leaving their suicidal partners

I failed to understand him but then again I don't want to live with myself so I kinda do understand him now.

 

[Lady black]

I failed to understand him but then again I don't want to live with myself so I kinda do understand him now.

For me that sounds like he left you to die

 

[AbandonedGirl]

As much as I see where this comes from, I have to disagree. They have a right to have a way out when they feel suffocated as much as we do. It's just theirs is leaving us behind while ours is leaving this world behind.

He has the right to live a life...I used to be mad but now I am not anymore. After all he is a happy man and is probbably better off without me as much as it pains me to see it that way. In the end this is only my burden to bear and I am tired of it all.

 

[BehindTheWall]

Well I tried to kill myself six years ago after having broke up with my gf. I was then super lonely and feeling guilty because it was my decision. My life was a big mess at this time. After that I came to my sister's home and cried a lot and...time passed.

 

[AbandonedGirl]

For me that sounds like he left you to die

I am sure he was under the influence of his family since they didn't like me since and i quote "He found a girlfriend from 1000km away." He knew I was severely abused and had BPD and promised to never leave me but I think in the end either he couldn't handle it anymore or someone (most likely his mother since she always had to put her nose in our relationship) told him he would be better off without me. Even if he left me to die its okay. I can't do anything good to make him proud so I might aswell do one thing right and that is end this suffering and delete my existance from his past.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

Yeah it's a factor but it weirdly took a few years to make me realise. Like at first I felt fine but now loneliness and missing her play a huge part.

I guess it depends on age too. If you've got your life ahead of you I wouldn't want to waste it on someone who left me. On the other hand I'm not really young any more and don't have much hope.

 

[AbandonedGirl]

Well I tried to kill myself six years ago after having broke up with my gf. I was then super lonely and feeling guilty because it was my decision. My life was a big mess at this time. After that I came to my sister's home and cried a lot and...time passed.

It just feels horrible because I was the one broken up with so I never got that closure. I tried to get some response for him even when he started stalking my instagram posts but as soon as I contacted him he stopped watching my stories. That proved to me he wants nothing to do with me. Its been 6 months and I cant get over it. I quit medical school and am currently only working/playing games and being in hospitals.

Yeah it's a factor but it weirdly took a few years to make me realise. Like at first I felt fine but now loneliness and missing her play a huge part.

I guess it depends on age too. If you've got your life ahead of you I wouldn't want to waste it on someone who left me. On the other hand I'm not really young any more and don't have much hope.

Everything around me (from nonsensical things such as the sound of an airplane to something I bought while shopping with him) reminds me of him and memories just keep digging me deeper and deeper hole and sadly I cannot get a good treatment in my country for anything mental illness related as it is still a taboo to stay in mental hospital and doctors just don't care.

 

[BehindTheWall]

It just feels horrible because I was the one broken up with so I never got that closure. I tried to get some response for him even when he started stalking my instagram posts but as soon as I contacted him he stopped watching my stories. That proved to me he wants nothing to do with me. Its been 6 months and I cant get over it. I quit medical school and am currently only working/playing games and being in hospitals.

I feel you. I've been a jerk and I'm not proud of it. She was kind, sensitive and lovely. I didn't try to talk about the situation, I just leaved her. After six years, I'm still shameful.

I really hope you're gonna be ok. My PMs are opens if you want to vent.

 

[Lady black]

That's hard I wish you would not have to suffer from the break up

 

[AbandonedGirl]

I feel you. I've been a jerk and I'm not proud of it. She was kind, sensitive and lovely. I didn't try to talk about the situation, I just leaved her. After six years, I'm still shameful.

I really hope you're gonna be ok. My PMs are opens if you want to vent.

I guess all of us have our reasons to break up with someone. I can't be mad. If he felt trapped then I understand. People who know me are mad at him but I just can't be. I love him as I did day 1. And thank you for the offer of PMs. I appreciate it :)

That's hard I wish you would not have to suffer from the break up

Oh how I wish that too. I was sure this was the real thing and we were to be engaged. In my dreams only. Now I hope that when I die I am at peace and atleast do not feel this pain.

 

[Intotheflames]

He has the right to live a life...I used to be mad but now I am not anymore. After all he is a happy man and is probbably better off without me as much as it pains me to see it that way. In the end this is only my burden to bear and I am tired of it all.

Just wanna make it clear that I wasn't implying that you don't deserve him or he is better off etc. I speak from experience, though in my case it's my mom. I admit that I can be a piece of work, but so as she, and being forced to stay with each other only ends up driving each other crazy. Things turns ugly easily.

 

[AbandonedGirl]

Just wanna make it clear that I wasn't implying that you don't deserve him or he is better off etc. I speak from experience, though in my case it's my mom. I admit that I can be a piece of work, but so as she, and being forced to stay with each other only ends up driving each other crazy. Things turns ugly easily.

Its okay I didn't take it the wrong way. I know what you mean. :)

 

[Lady black]

I wish you will never feel pain again

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not really a breakup, but a little over three months ago someone who was very compatible with me broke off a potential relationship even though she was the one who reached out and sought me. She was only a member here for a few weeks but she reached out to me and I ended up having more in common with her than anyone else I ever met. Even so it turned out the few things we differed on were apparently critical enough to her that she wouldn't even give me a chance which I get though it didn't make me want to kill myself any less.

Before this happened, I was fine with waiting until I was 30 to kill myself in case I get a first girlfriend before then and then won't have to CTB. This experience made me so miserable because it confirmed that that will never happen for me so I decided I'm going to wait until I'm 28 instead which is conveniently only a little over a year away for me.

Knowing that even breaking off a potential relationship is enough to bring me this much despair is reason enough why I know I'll never be able to make it work with anyone and if I did actually have a romantic relationship end, I'd probably just want to die immediately. Thankfully I've got my own SN now so that should be easy.

 

[AbandonedGirl]

Not really a breakup, but a little over three months ago someone who was very compatible with me broke off a potential relationship even though she was the one who reached out and sought me. She was only a member here for a few weeks but she reached out to me and I ended up having more in common with her than anyone else I ever met. Even so it turned out the few things we differed on were apparently critical enough to her that she wouldn't even give me a chance which I get though it didn't make me want to kill myself any less.

Before this happened, I was fine with waiting until I was 30 to kill myself in case I get a first girlfriend before then and then won't have to CTB. This experience made me so miserable because it confirmed that that will never happen for me so I decided I'm going to wait until I'm 28 instead which is conveniently only a little over a year away for me.

Knowing that even breaking off a potential relationship is enough to bring me this much despair is reason enough why I know I'll never be able to make it work with anyone and if I did actually have a romantic relationship end, I'd probably just want to die immediately. Thankfully I've got my own SN now so that should be easy.

Sorry to hear that. It brought tears to my eyes. I hate seeing people suffer like I am. Nobody deserves to suffer and be alone. Me and him were together for 3 years despite the 1004km distance untill one day he just said "I don't love you anymore its over." We planned on so much and now I am left behind. I gave up on school and learning the language cuz as silly as it sounds it reminded me of him. Its been 6 months and I don't see myself continuing without him. I think its best for me to just disappear and hope that maybe there is peace in death. Btw. Sorry to ask whats SN and CTB I am new here

I wish you will never feel pain again

Thats why i hope that once I close my eyes and breathe in my last breath I finally find peace.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sorry to hear that. It brought tears to my eyes. I hate seeing people suffer like I am. Nobody deserves to suffer and be alone. Me and him were together for 3 years despite the 1004km distance untill one day he just said "I don't love you anymore its over." We planned on so much and now I am left behind. I gave up on school and learning the language cuz as silly as it sounds it reminded me of him. Its been 6 months and I don't see myself continuing without him. I think its best for me to just disappear and hope that maybe there is peace in death. Btw. Sorry to ask whats SN and CTB I am new here

Yeah, part of why she ended it so quickly for me was probably because she was afraid of how much worse it would feel if things didn't work out after some time which I get. It probably hurts quite a bit more to have invested so much with someone only for it to end like that. I'm sorry. You've also been dealing with it longer too so I couldn't even imagine that level of pain.

Anyway, SN is Sodium Nitrite, a method that you can search the mega thread for it to find out more and CTB means Catch the Bus which is an expression that's just another way of saying "commit suicide".

 

[AbandonedGirl]

Yeah, part of why she ended it so quickly for me was probably because she was afraid of how much worse it would feel if things didn't work out after some time which I get. It probably hurts quite a bit more to have invested so much with someone only for it to end like that. I'm sorry. You've also been dealing with it longer too so I couldn't even imagine that level of pain.

Anyway, SN is Sodium Nitrite, a method that you can search the mega thread for it to find out more and CTB means Catch the Bus which is an expression that's just another way of saying "commit suicide".

The pain is horible. As for SN i looked into it and I am currently trying to find a way to get a hold of it.

 

[WornOutLife]

The last girl I had a crush on and got me completely absorbed in the relationship made me so sad that I wanted to ctb no matter what.

However, after a while, I realized she was not the main reason for this. Nobody should kill themselves just for a person.

I'm a depressed person with BPD who has become a kinda NEET and finds life too depressing and pointless.

All in all, wish you the best to all of those you who're suffering for a girl or bot. Let me tell you, you can get over it! It'll be hard, but you'll be able to.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Yes, all the time. I mean I'm constantly suicidal but breakups just kinda give me that last push I need. It's also worth to mention I suffer from BPD, which probably plays a large role in that kind of behavior and thought process.

 

[DrWh033]

No. Breakups are a part of life. No reason to ctb for that. Even if teens and young ppl like to exaggerate over the pain.

 

[BehindTheWall]

No. Breakups are a part of life. No reason to ctb for that. Even if teens and young ppl like to exaggerate over the pain.

Everyone has a different sensitivity, it's not exagerate.

 

[Ghost2211]

For a while it was a driving force to ctb since it was such a huge change in life and brought loneliness and pain, but over time it got better and I started learning how to make new social connections. I have my own reasons to have suicidal ideation. I don't want my life and death to be about an abuser, and give him that kind of power.

 

[Tired_Tired]

I always think any reason to CTB is really the main concern. It always depends on you can live with or without it. You may think he is jerk or she is bitch. He/She may not think the same. Some people use CTB to revenge or curse him/her. I will say the the effect will take a little. The main reason you just want to end your suffering because you don't feel any hope and happiness in the rest of your life. If your mindset is clear. You will know how to choose SI or CTB. Anyway, to say is one thing and to do is another.

 

[Nightwillalwayswin]

No. Breakups are a part of life. No reason to ctb for that. Even if teens and young ppl like to exaggerate over the pain.

I think this is unfair. Some break ups can be truly devastating and cause an unthinkable about of pain.

 

[DrWh033]

I think this is unfair. Some break ups can be truly devastating and cause an unthinkable about of pain.

I am sorry but I guess my point of view is different. Breakups while painful are just a part of process that is called life. I view it as getting taller, which can also be painful, having birth which can also be painful, getting sick and building antibodies etc
I am sorry if I offended anyone but I just don't see it. Ctb for your grandparents or parents dying is the same thing for me. A part of reality.