Venting Anxiety is eating me up alive

[Qua]

It seems to be only getting worse, but I shouldn't even be surprised. It's like an endless cycle, sometimes getting better only to end up feeling even worse. Although I've been on meds for little over a month now, I struggle more and more. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't function. I have to physically force myself to do something, try to switch my brain off, otherwise I just can't. I feel like my head is empty but full at the same time, thoughts running marathons but seemingly staying quiet.

Recently I've been getting really nauseous out of nowhere. I'll be gagging for a couple minutes and then it just goes away. Now my chest is tight and heavy, head feels like the world is spinning even though I'm lying down. I feel stuck, I feel hopeless, suicidal thoughts are coming back because I don't think I can handle my future. I feel worthless, I feel like a failure. I'm anxious, stressed out, scared. There is only one way out, but I can't do it to my mom

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

Do you mind sharing the medication you've been taking? Some meds can make depressive symptoms worse instead of better in certain cases, so if it's a new prescription, I recommend checking that out.