Alive for others

[Lolkillme]

At this point I'm only alive to make sure other people don't have to go through the pain of losing me. I feel like this is incredibly unfair and selfish of them. For some reason it's perfectly acceptable to die of sickness or old age, but ending mental and emotional suffering on my own accord is not ok. I only hope I get a cancer diagnosis or something so I can deny treatment. I just want out.

 

[time4sleep]

I'm sorry you feel this way. I think a lot of us are in this situation

 

[FuneralCry]

It is selfish for others to expect you to stay alive when it is against your wishes and you are suffering, however I understand not wanting to cause others pain. It can be a difficult situation to be in. Life really can be cruel. I wish you well.

 

[Seiko]

I view my life as sovereign and private. Ending it is the affair of mine and no one else's. While it may be sad for others, it's important to note that I did not consent to being born, neither can I control how other people react to my death.

 

[Snake of Eden]

At this point I am only alive for others

 

[¡!¡!¡!]

At this point I am only alive for others

So am i

 

[LemonsLivesStop]

I am also only alive for others and I am beginning to resent them strongly for it.

 

[brutalus]

me too im alive bc of my mom. but i have recently begun talking to her about wanting to kill myself, and she understands i think. also my dogs, who are 10 and 9 years old.

 

[Snake of Eden]

me too im alive bc of my mom. but i have recently begun talking to her about wanting to kill myself, and she understands i think. also my dogs, who are 10 and 9 years old.

I tried to talk to my mother about it but she blocks it. She utterly pretend that I didnt say anything. She rather have me live in agony than be dead

 

[overcomingfear]

you don't owe anyone anything. if life is unbearable close ones should understand if you ctb

 

[hʚll]

I tried to talk to my mother about it but she blocks it. She utterly pretend that I didnt say anything. She rather have me live in agony than be dead

mine just says i will go to hell because of that, thinking she can scare me with that bs
i hate prolifers so much

 

[Snake of Eden]

mine just says i will go to hell because of that, thinking she can scare me with that bs
i hate prolifers so much

Thats not just your mom. Mine said that too

 

[Hurt]

This is what I've been doing for more than a year. It's exhausting. I am suffering because I don't want to make my family sad. I try to hold on. It's hard.

 

[strangemagic]

I keep getting called selfish, and that I don't consider anybody but myself when telling others how I feel/ after my attempts. It's really not like that, I just feel like there's nothing here for me anymore :(

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

At this point I'm only alive to make sure other people don't have to go through the pain of losing me. I feel like this is incredibly unfair and selfish of them. For some reason it's perfectly acceptable to die of sickness or old age, but ending mental and emotional suffering on my own accord is not ok. I only hope I get a cancer diagnosis or something so I can deny treatment. I just want out.

I am only here for my mom and it is torture. I want to ctb right now. It's my birthday

 

[time4sleep]

I am only here for my mom and it is torture. I want to ctb right now. It's my birthday

Happy Birthday!

 

[Kattt]

My dad has been through More horrific death and trauma than anyone I ever met. His parents lost it a bit following a couple of cot deaths so he wound up raising his siblings. One day,his baby sister was being bullied and spotted her big brother across the street. Along comes a truck and decapitates her right in front of him. Next he:s dragging his nephew's cold corpse from a car accident. Bloody drunk drivers. Out doing the exact same thing within a few days. He lost his construction company during the recession. We were homeless, but he never spent a single evening in the pub. Always straight home to us. Even commuting to Wales every day.The whole family have Asperger's ,so he worked night and Day to get us what we needed and do the best job he was capable of. My mum treats him like shit, shouting at him in the street, despite the fact that he does everything for her. Even her own sister told her off for it. I had to be careful how much he knew about certain people in my life....I won't let him do life for me.
Then he had to sit and talk to me in prison, fully aware, I had cut my own throat. We go swimming and he can see I have cut my body to pieces. I feel so bad for him. So basically,I'm waiting for him to die. Despite him being my best friend in the world.
Going to try and take him whale watching in the DR next year. It's the only thing he wants.
I'd be so honoured share that with him.

 

[TheUnkn0wn]

I stayed alive for my mom as she needed a caregiver due to deteriorating from cancer. She ended up passing away a couple years ago.

I have people tell me all the time suicide is selfish and I'd hurt others. As much as I want to believe them, I don't hear a peep from anyone unless something critical happens to me, so I feel like not that much pain will reflect back to them (could be wrong but just my thoughts).

 

[time4sleep]

I'm now in a situation where there is an ex-girlfriend that I've hurt, an ex-girlfriend that is cutting off all contact and some cousins I barely speak to. My main worry is how long it will take to be found, as it could be weeks/months.

 

[Kattt]

I gave my N to a woman in the later stages of MND/LSA. That's the poster child for euthanasia

I'm now in a situation where there is an ex-girlfriend that I've hurt, an ex-girlfriend that is cutting off all contact and some cousins I barely speak to. My main worry is how long it will take to be found, as it could be weeks/months.

I guarantee the ex girlfriend will soon be focused on someone else. That's just what we do. I don't know how close you are with the cousins. I barely know mine. You can find someone you trust from SS, don't ever tell anyone else details like times and dates. But have 1 trustee. If you haven't called them by an agreed time,they can inform law enforcement. I:ve done it a few times. It's not nice to have rotting corpses about

 

[Kattt]

I stayed alive for my mom as she needed a caregiver due to deteriorating from cancer. She ended up passing away a couple years ago.

I have people tell me all the time suicide is selfish and I'd hurt others. As much as I want to believe them, I don't hear a peep from anyone unless something critical happens to me, so I feel like not that much pain will reflect back to them (could be wrong but just my thoughts).

Thank you for caring for your mum. xx

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I stay alive for my dog who's nearly 11years old and l promised him l would always be there for him right to the end,But l'd Never consider him selfish for making me wait to CTB!

 

[Rhaiyne]

I'm about at this place too. What i struggle to understand is why our thoughts/actions are considered selfish.... all we do is think of others and their pain... allowing ourselves to continue longer in our own pain.

 

[time4sleep]

I gave my N to a woman in the later stages of MND/LSA. That's the poster child for euthanasia

I guarantee the ex girlfriend will soon be focused on someone else. That's just what we do. I don't know how close you are with the cousins. I barely know mine. You can find someone you trust from SS, don't ever tell anyone else details like times and dates. But have 1 trustee. If you haven't called them by an agreed time,they can inform law enforcement. I:ve done it a few times. It's not nice to have rotting corpses about

I agree entirely, she will move on and find someone else and I actually hope she does and is happy.

Good shout on the trustee. I'll start to think about that. I wouldn't tell times/dates to people.

Thanks for the reply, really informative and what this forum is all about.