1 more month

[deathisnear]

1 more month. I am not letting myself out of this, I've done that before and it makes me so mad that I didn't follow through. So this has to be it, next month is my ctb month. I wanted to do it a little bit before the holidays so that my family and loved ones won't have that ruined even though I know it will hurt them forever to come. I can't live for them anymore. I have good days and bad days, I treasure the good memories I've had with them, but it's time to go. The hurt, the pain, the worthlessness, the depression, the anxiety, the no hope for the future, the constant suicidal thoughts are calling me home. I need to go home, I need to be at peace, I need to be out of this incredibly fucked up world. Here's hoping nothing stands in my way, for next month I hope to be dead and at peace forever.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand it is hard to carry on when you have reached your limit. I could never live for family members and it would be selfish of them to expect me to. Non existence is also what I want as it is the end of all suffering. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[deathisnear]

I understand it is hard to carry on when you have reached your limit. I could never live for family members and it would be selfish of them to expect me to. Non existence is also what I want as it is the end of all suffering. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

I agree, I also feel it's selfish for anyone to make anyone stay. I have stayed for far too long, I haven't wanted to hurt them, but I am going to have to. I simply can't do it anymore. Non existence is what I crave as well, I feel really good about what I want to do personally, I just have to block out what's been holding me here and get it done,